Cp Depression and your 40s

You're in your 40s and cp are throwing spanners in the works:

Ok, so you notice things are getting harder and you are more and more frustrated. I get it. I’m going through this stage of life right now and get what you are going through. 

What happened for me to begin with

Life was pretty good to start with. The kids were off to school and I was in control of what was happening around me. Yet I could tell that things were going wrong within me. Not chemically but physically. It was the little things that I was losing control of, such as putting my shoes and socks on or crossing my legs at the knee.

Those Feelings kicked in again!

As I mentioned in previous posts such as The feelings of frustration, and despair because of the way things are with my body I felt that I was losing control of everything around me. This included the feeling of not being a good mum because of the inability of being able to do something that I perceive that the average mum can do. And some of the things that I couldn’t do. Sometimes it is frustrating that the children wouldn’t do the chores that I asked them to do. And they were chores I can’t do anymore. You may say what about asking your partner to help. Yes, I did and do but just sometimes it is the feeling of loss of independence. It can be the realisation that says in 10years time the brain damage that is consistent changes something else that you thought you wouldn’t necessarily lose but lose anyway.

What I did

I did what most mums would do which was to nag the kids to help but this didn’t work. Because as the kids got older they became more and more independent and didn’t want and still don’t as I write this. But I have to realise they are teens right now and don’t want to do anything that their parent wants them to do. And that is normal! 

How I counteract those feelings:

When I first noticed that things were going awry I said to my hubby I thought I needed to go back on medications and so I went back to my doctor and went back on medication. And I’m not sure if I will ever come off them as anything can trigger an episode. And when I have been off them by mistake I acted like a completely wild animal with my anger and frustration. My kids have politely asked me to never come off them.

I also got another case of counselling and in this round, I had CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Which I do use almost daily. Because there are things that can trigger an event that causes that to arrive. But that is diminishing slowly.

Final words

So I have said what I used to help myself in my moods in this post and the posts before I mention the different types of ways of getting help for yourself as an adult and to aid children who have cerebral palsy to learn how to deal with their condition as they get older.

But it is up to you how you help yourself or the person you care for.

A strong quote to think

This is seriously an amazing quote to stay positive. It doesn't matter what age or anything you are.

CP and depression in your 30s

So the 30s have hit and you’re feeling low again:

So looking at what you have and the thought of why you. And the feeling of being a burden is another problem because you are not able to do things that the people who you live with can. 

Remember that these are also issues that occurred when you were a child, teen and in your 20s 

Ok, the feeling is there again!

This is when you are going through another bout of depression because of the feelings. But you are not alone. There are lots of people who are in the same box.

What to do?

Ok so the feelings are there and you've been given all the cues to get the help in your 20s. Now is the time to use them again. 

If on the other hand, you're reading this post then it's ok. I've been through the same things and didn't know anything until I was in my 30s 

What I did!

It was at this age I finally started getting the help I needed.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression at this point. So I was put on medication. I also went through a course of counselling. For a long time, I managed to be content enough and came off the medication. 

When my family grew and my children were eventually off to school I noticed that my body has started to get a bit more worn. Slowly I also noticed that I was getting more and more tired. However, I ignored all the warning signs and carried on and let life take over.

In that sense, I should not have left myself got at this point but I did. For some of the stuff I was dealing with I got healing thanks to the counselling but there were things I was dealing with and didn’t know.

If you have those sorts of feelings realise that everyone has these and it doesn’t matter if you have a disability or not.

Last words

My thoughts are if you have not got the help you need then push for it but if you have it then use it. There are so many apps as well that can help you. But not everyone is the same so it is best to search on your phone and try as many as possible till you find the ones that work for you.

Definitely something to think

This is something that everyone can do no matter if you are disabled or not.

Young adults with cerebral Palsy and depression

So they're 20+ with cp:

Ok so now any help that social services and the medical professionals seemingly wash their hands of the new adult who is beginning their adulthood. I say that in the sense that the professionals don't really know what cerebral palsy does to an adult.

So what do you do now?

If you have gone through difficult times as a child with cerebral palsy and they are feeling low because of what the condition is throwing up even daily. This could be tiredness, muscle tone and pain, or anything else that cp has given you. Then go back to the people who were there for you as a teen helped you with the mental health issues that come across from time to time. These may be:

• Councillor

• Friends

• Family

• Work colleagues.

• GP

• Social services 

One of the main feelings:

At this point the question of why me? probably is the biggest question you may ask yourself even though you may know the reason. Emotional frustration because of what your body throws at you emotionally is the main cause of depression. So keep this in check and anything else that causes stress and anxiety.

Will you have a partner?

This is another question that may trigger depression and anxiety. The thing is this is a question that even able-bodied people have to. So it's a normal question for everyone.

The frustration of the cp:

This is a common cause of depression so going to your GP for help is the 1st big step as much as it's the sensation of depression and anxiety because of what cp has given you. But also remember no one is the same. If we were, it would be boring.

The future?

That totally depends on you and how you deal with things.

Think about it

This is something to inspire to daily

Teens, cp and depression

School and teenage life with cerebral palsy:

Like every child and adult, they may go through bullying. Which is horrendous in any case having a disability on top of that can make things even worse. It doesn't matter what type of school the child is at either. 

Listening to the Teen:

This is the most important thing that should come from the parents, friends, family, and professionals that are involved with the child. because it is their lives that you're looking out for as an adult in their lives.

At school:

When the child is at school and if they are being bullied. then the first port of call is to get it dealt with within the school itself. But again if it is not resolved you will need to go higher in the system.

At home:

If at home the child is unhappy and depressed. 

1. Talk to the teen

2. Listen to the teen

3. Don't ignore them or brush off what they are saying or going through.

4. Point them in the direction for help

5. Emotionally support them

And just generally support them.

Some of the places to guide them include

• Childline

• Social services

• GP

• Consultant

• Friend

• Adult

• Teacher

• Councillor

• Facebook groups

• Local groups if there any nearby

Dealing with the cp specifically:

When the teen asks about their condition and why they are different because of whatever evidence the cp has thrown up. Remember the following

• Treat them as you would any other teen

• Explain as simply as possible that it's not their fault.

• Give them time to process the information

• Support them in whatever way they need

• Get them to ask the consultant relative questions

Then you can help them move forward and by getting support from other places such as the list below:

• local groups

• Scope

• Facebook groups

• Councillor

• Friends

These things might be common sense but sometimes these need to be reminded because they are all intensive purposes the same as any other teen but have added issues that may not be disclosed at the moment through the cp but may show up later in life.

What if the teen is nonverbal:

Ok, the teen is nonverbal due to the cp mainly in their facial muscles. Then get them to talk via their equipment. It shouldn't matter how long it takes for them to get their own message, dreams, whatever across and using their equipment gets them to open up. 

Listen to what they have to say. 

Because I can tell you from personal experience that they want to be heard and treated equally in their own lives. Cerebral Palsy does not mean that we are not capable of doing things. It means it has to be done our way. It doesn't mean that they can't use their brains. It means they are wired differently. Just the same as anyone who has any other disability.

What does this mean?

It means that they are valued. Their opinions are presented equally. They are heard as a person not just as a disability. This way they are the person who has cerebral palsy, not the person who has Cerebral Palsy.