Life Right Now
I wanted to make sure that finding the perfect way to explain things was easy but it is not. Not being able to clarify things without putting depression at the forefront of this blog has made it very difficult for a very long time. I have had clinical depression on and off. I also have been suffering from anxiety since I was young and the two of those things have made things at times unbearable. Not to the extent where I would end my life but I would want to hide until it all goes away and I feel better, but it doesn't always happen.
There are days when this happens and it takes me ages to get out of the funk I'm in because it feels like some kind of whirlpool. It feels like I am climbing out then being pulled back in and I can't win and on these days I know that it's a day for me to be quiet. This is why I have been recent. Stuff is going on which is triggering. It's nothing that has been severe enough for me to go as I have said but it has felt like I am the only one who is going through this.
Understanding the circle
I know that that's not the case but the struggle is there and is real and everyone who has a disability such as cerebral palsy will suffer from depression at some point due to frustration through the limitations that they are given.
One thing I was taught from a young age is that there is no such word as can't. This has led me to let myself in good stead however my physical limitations have not allowed me to do what my brain has said at times which is frustrating.
If you're reading this blog remember that you're not alone and if you're just learning about your disability or learning about a loved one's disability then treat them as normal as possible but also give them the realisation that not everything is possible. you will have to work around things because it is not fair.
There is a form of equality that everyone wants and this is what this blog is about, however, learning to accept the limitations within the disability can at times be like hell.
I don't mean literal. but personally, there are ways that you just can't explain it to someone because they aren't you. I have often felt if only they would realise what it was like in my shoes or my feet.
A Hint For Everyone
Learning skills that are required to live is better than having a degree in something above someone and some kind of educational system where people are put into categories. This can mean that the Equality system of the UK and every country in the world has been put under pressure because they wish to be known as the best. It doesn't mean that they are and it doesn't mean they aren't.
There is equality that is needed everywhere. Life skills are needed for everyone, not just for the people who are not as intellectually clever as others. If that was the case would be back in the old days putting us at Home and treating us as nothing. Yet there is the wish from both sides to be equal but yet not able to listen to what each person requires as help. Everyone deals with things differently and that is the point. Everyone is different and everyone is equal because each of us has bone, blood, muscle and skin.
I have said that before in a lot of my posts so it's hard to say something new about my disability right now. Especially as everyone else has a different type of cerebral palsy, from those of us who have it.
I still want to be treated as a human being just as anyone else in the world does. So this is a big depression point and I will be doing a shorter amount of Diaries in the depression series because each day can be different and it isn't always easy. Some days are easy but others aren't.
Depending on others is not a great thing to be wanting because you want the same as who would be classed as normal. Then again the question is everyone normal or is no one normal?
My Personal View
That is for everyone to decide and I choose the side of equality and from this point on in my blog, I will be trying to do more as I said in the depression side of it because it has been such a big struggle recently. It isn't always that way as I have said but it has been at the moment and the weights for an answer is distracting and frustrating triggering another depression cycle. I'm hoping that this can be understood by everyone and those who need the answers quickly such as myself will have them in good time for making plans. That will happen at some point you just have to wait. Taking it day by day.