Stickability in Conversation: An Interview with Author Matt Stabb

 Dear Diary,

it’s Wednesday, and I’m so pleased to bring you part two of my series with Matt Stabb. After last week’s review, I wanted to dive deeper into his journey. We sat down to talk about everything from 1980s train travel to the 'brick walls' we face when advocating for ourselves."

On Grit

Q: What was the "brick wall" that felt hardest to climb?

Matt: For me, the hardest bit was to prove to myself that I could achieve what I needed to. And back in the day when I did the Duke of Edinburgh, I felt that I to prove myself to people who were running the DoE, and that's why in my book the person who was giving out the awards said I had "stickability". So I proved that I could achieve my goal. I had faith in myself.

On Accessibility

Q: What is the one piece of modern accessibility... that would have changed your life?

Matt: On the trains themselves, it would be the ramps that we use today. And there is now assistance that you can book ahead, combined with train travel the disabled space in the carriages themselves, rather than in the guard's van! On wider issues, the Motability scheme (cars leased and adapted for use by powered wheelchair users) provides much wider transport access.

On Education

Q: Do you think living away from home for school helped or hindered your independence?

Matt: I feel living away from home did help my independence, especially when I left boarding school and went to Hereward College in Coventry. The transition to college taught me to sit on my own wheels. This was the beginning of making me who I am today. So yes, it did help me, but everyone is different and has different experiences.

On Family & Separation

Q: How did physical distance impact your relationship with siblings?

Matt: Looking back, I was always close to my brother and my sister. And I often think I wish that I been around more for my little sister when she was growing up. Obviously, I missed them when I was at school and college. But you sort of got used to it, and I didn't really think too much about it. It is what it is.

On Community

Q: Why is it important to understand that the "disabled community" isn't a monolith?

Matt: We can empathise with each other, but it doesn't mean we are the same. Even with CP, as you have pointed out, our experiences and journey are and will continue to be very different. But we still face the same barriers and attitudes, so as long as we have each other's backs, to me, that's all that is important.

On "Keeping On"

Q: What’s the one thing you’d tell your younger self?

Matt: You can achieve what you want to achieve; just keep being you and don't give up. Keep on keeping on!

❤ 

The Surgical Dilemma

 

Dear Diary,

I’m thinking a lot today about the things people don't say out loud.

When you tell people you have Stage 4 Endometriosis, they often say, "Can't you just have a hysterectomy?" They think it’s like taking out a faulty part in a car. I wish it were that simple.

For me, the damage is so extensive that it’s connected everything. It’s in my bowel, it’s wrapped around my pelvis, and it radiates through my back until I can’t tell where the CP pain ends and the Endo begins.

My doctors and I have had the hard conversations. Because the Endo has caused so much tethering, surgery is a massive risk. We aren't just talking about a recovery period; we are talking about the fact that I could wake up with a stoma because the organs are so fused together.

It’s a choice between the "devil and the deep blue sea." Do I live with the daily pain and the bowel issues, or do I risk a surgery that could change my life in a way I’m not ready for?

Living with Stage 4 means managing a "frozen" reality. It’s not just "bad periods." It’s a full-body management job every single day.

I’m staying in the recliner today. My back is screaming, my bowel is playing up, and I'm just trying to keep the "Manager" in me from feeling overwhelmed by it all.

love 😍 

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Support Groups

• Endometriosis UK: Leading charity in the UK. Helpline: 0808 808 2227.

• The Endometriosis Network (UK): Specialised support for complex decisions.

• Scope & CP Sport (UK): Advice on managing disability and health.

Note to international readers: Please look for support groups in your own countries. I can’t be certain of every single one, but you don't have to manage this alone.

Stickability and Strength: A Review of Matt Stabb’s 'Keep on Keeping On

 Dear Diary,

It’s Wednesday, and I am finally sharing my thoughts on Matt Stabb’s biography. Reading his book is like sitting down for a coffee and a chat; it’s ad-hoc and honest, just like life.

What struck me most were our "Mirror Moments." We were born in the same decade, both living with Cerebral Palsy, yet our paths were so different. In 1983, while Matt was navigating special schools and colleges, I was part of that first batch of children integrated into mainstream education. While he was being told to sit in the guards' van on trains, I was sitting in the carriage.

It makes you realise that the "disabled community" isn't one single story.

Matt talks a lot about "Stickability." He had to fight for his own bungalow, manage his own care, and prove to everyone—including the Duke of Edinburgh assessors—that he could do it. That "stickability" is exactly what I’m focusing on for Book 5. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about having the grit to "Keep on Keeping On," even when the world wants to put you in a guard van.

❤ 

The Invisible Flare

 

 

Dear Diary,

It’s officially CP Awareness Month. The world is turning green to support people like me, and I’m proud to share that part of my life. But today, my diary entry isn't about the green ribbon; it’s about the silent war.

I have Stage 4 Endometriosis.

Most people see the CP—the way I move and the physical effort of my gait. But they don't know what Stage 4 does behind the scenes. It’s the "Double Whammy."

When the Endo flare hits, it’s like a chain reaction. The internal pain triggers the spasticity in my legs, and suddenly, my CP is ten times harder to manage. My muscles lock up because they don’t know how to handle the deep, internal "grrr" of the Endo.

I have to be the Manager of two different wars at once. One is visible to everyone who walks past, and the other is a silent, deep battle with scar tissue and pain.

Today, the heat pack is my best friend. I’m sitting in my recliner, just trying to breathe through it and balance the needs of two very different conditions.

People ask how I do it. I don’t have a fancy answer. I just do it because I have to. One breath, one poem, and one day at a time.

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Support Groups

• Endometriosis UK: Leading charity in the UK. Helpline: 0808 808 2227.

• The Endometriosis Network (UK): Specialised support for complex decisions.

• Scope & CP Sport (UK): Advice on managing disability and health.

Note to international readers: Please look for support groups in your own countries. I can’t be certain of every single one, but you don't have to manage this alone.

From the Retreat Bubble to the Real World (And the Found Family in Between)

 Dear Diary,

Today is Sunday, and I’m feeling a little raw as I sit here "bouncing while flaring"—that strange mix of high energy and chronic pain we talk about so often. I’ve just put down Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella, and it felt like a sanctuary, though a bittersweet one.

Knowing we lost Sophie in December adds such a layer of sadness to every joke. She truly was the queen of finding humour in the friction of life. At first, the book frustrated me—the transition from the perfect "Retreat Bubble" (where the characters fall in love without even knowing each other's names) to the messy "Real World" felt so jarring.

But then I realised... isn't that exactly what this life is?

One minute I’m in a "Retreat Day"—the pain is low, the house is quiet, and I’m writing—and then bang, I’m thrown back into the real world of flares, fatigue, and the physical limitations of CP and Endo. The contrast is always a slap in the face.

The part that actually made me cry was when the character Nell got sick. Seeing that mismatched group of friends pull together to look after her just broke me in the best way. It reminded me that "family" isn't always blood. It’s the people who show up when you can’t get out of bed. In my world, that found family is everything.

Thank you, Sophie, for the laughter and for the reminder to "love your life" even when the mending is messy.

The Logistics Of Love 😍

 Dearest Diary,

I’ve been looking back at those years when the twins were between 9 and 11, and it feels like a different lifetime. That was the era of the "Great Transition".

Back then, I was still learning how to move from being the Engine to being the Navigator.

My late 40s were spent in a frantic, beautiful blur of dance classes and competitions. I remember the intensity of one of the twins finding their wings on the stage—and even though I couldn't dance with them, being their emotional anchor was the most important job I ever had.

I look back at the "Logistics of Love" from those years and realise how much strategy was involved. I was writing and publishing three books in the quiet gaps between school runs and rehearsals. I didn't chase the limelight for those books then; I left them to stand on their own because my energy was needed on the dance floor and at home. They were my "quiet victories".

Now, from the perspective of my 50s in this house we worked so hard to plan and organise, I see that era for what it truly was: the birth of the Invisible Shift. 

I talk about the actual moves and how I dealt with the moves in previous posts. Such as a new place, a longer wait than I thought and more.

My disability taught my children empathy before they could even name it. It taught them that "I can't" isn't a dead end—it's just an invitation to find a different way. I wasn't "less" of a mum because I sat on the sofa; I was more of a strategist.

The series of being a "Twin Mum" ends in the next one.🌙✨

Love