Diary Entry: Discovering I Was Pregnant with Twins

What a shock!

I had just found out that I was pregnant. The IVF worked the first time, and I was overwhelmed with joy. As soon as the news sank in, I instinctively started nesting, even though I was unsure how many eggs had settled in.

At 5 weeks, I fainted and went to the hospital, only to discover that both eggs had settled in, meaning I was expecting twins! The fertility clinic advised me to have scans every two weeks to monitor the twins' progress. This new reality was thrilling and daunting at the same time.

I had to pay close attention to my body, particularly because my cerebral palsy was affected by the pregnancy. The first trimester was a challenge, as I endured a full 16 weeks of sickness. My diet was limited to ginger biscuits and certain fruits I could stomach. Tea became a comforting ritual, and occasionally, I treated myself to a fizzy drink like Coke. Interestingly, I developed a sudden allergy to chicken and gold, which meant I couldn't eat chicken or wear any gold jewellery.

Despite the challenges, the anticipation of meeting my twins kept me motivated and hopeful. Each day brought new experiences and adjustments, and I learned to embrace the changes with an open heart. And could not wait to see how my body would cope with the changes.

Diary Entry: My Life After GCSEs Before the Big Step

Dear Diary, 

Today, I want to reflect on my journey since completing my GCSEs and how it has shaped me into who I am now. Transitioning to college marked the beginning of an exciting yet daunting chapter in my life, especially as I navigated this with cerebral palsy. 

Thriving in the First Year 

Looking back on my first year at college, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride. It was a period of growth and new experiences, and I truly thrived both academically and socially. The independence I gained was empowering; I learned to embrace the responsibility that came with higher education. I discovered that my cerebral palsy didn’t define me or limit my potential. It was a refreshing realization that fueled my motivation to push through challenges. Although I did still suffer from bouts

A Challenging Second Year 

However, the second year was a different story. It presented unforeseen challenges that I hadn’t anticipated. I found myself grappling with my second bout of clinical depression, which made everything feel heavier. The uncertainties I faced regarding my future career 

path compounded my struggles. I often felt lost, unsure of where to go next, which added to my anxiety. 

Navigating Uncertainty 

During this time, my thoughts often drifted to my dreams of becoming a mother and getting married. These aspirations felt distant, especially knowing I would encounter additional hurdles along the way. The path to employment seemed daunting, and the barriers loomed large. Despite the uncertainties, I held onto those dreams tightly, determined to make them a reality, even if I didn’t know how. 

Looking Forward

Through this journey, I’ve learned the importance of resilience and patience. It has taken time for me to become comfortable with where I am, but every step has contributed to my growth. I’ve come to appreciate the strength I’ve gained from facing these challenges head on. 

In my next entry, I hope to share how I realized my dreams of motherhood and marriage and how these milestones have further shaped the person I am today. Until then, I will continue to embrace the journey ahead. 

With hope and determination, 

Fresh chapters with cp.

Hey there,

Remember how I've been talking about my move and the process whilst having cerebral palsy? Well, I'm excited to announce a slight shift in focus.

While the move combined with cerebral palsy is still incredibly important, I'm going to be taking things in a new direction by discussing the life of a person with the condition. From a personal view living in a home that's either in process of being altered or already done.

Don't worry, this isn't a complete overhaul! But I believe this change will allow us to explore cerebral palsy in a more comprehensive way, and provide you with even more valuable insights.

Stick around to learn more about why I'm making this change and what exciting things you can expect in the future!

Topics that are going to be mentioned:

1. How I put on makeup.

2. Skin care.

3. Book reviews.

4. My favorite gadgets everyone can use.

5. Clothes I find easy to wear.

6. Techniques I use to dress if I can do it myself.

7. Aids I use daily.

8. Days out.

And many more topics.

Please do follow me on Facebook, Instagram and threads. There you will see what I'm doing on a daily basis. You can always ask me questions on the subscription group via Facebook sensible questions.

AFew Months!

It's been a few months since I moved into my final home. I had given myself a bit of time to recover from the amount of stress, uncertainty and energy that I have used over the last 14 months with all the moves.

Having multiple conditions and moving is probably more stressful than just moving. Which is stressful in itself.

There are many things which I never thought about growing up with the main condition cerebral palsy which I spotted in my 1st move. But never thought of it until moving into the final home.

Here are some tips to make the transition smoother:

Involve the person with cerebral palsy in the planning process as much as possible. This will help them feel more in control and invested in the new home.

List any accessibility needs to be addressed in the new home.

This could include wider doorways, bathroom grab bars, or a lower kitchen counter.

Start unpacking and setting up the new home one room at a time.

This will help to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Familiarise the person with cerebral palsy with the layout of the new home.

This will help them feel more comfortable and independent.

Be patient and allow plenty of time for the person with cerebral palsy to adjust to the new home.

Some tips can be done during settling into a new home. The biggest one I discovered in the last home as I got used to the layout of the place.

As an ambulatory wheelchair user, there was one major thing I was suffering in the first month and that is to use my home helper trolley that I have for transferring from one room to another. So that I could adjust to the different surfaces of certain rooms and areas.

My kitchen, hall and bathrooms are laid with lino

and the living room and bedrooms are carpeted.

I'm still struggling a little bit three months on but I'm getting better. I know that it's ok and I know that I will get used to the house and area. I still walk gingerly around some places as I don't go out as much as I did before.

In a time of calm

What am I doing in this time of calm!

Well there has been a huge amount of upheaval with two moves in a month and the wait for knowing when that was going to happen. That took months to actually happen so I was completely stressed out. So in this time of calm I have started writing more and slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things.

What does that mean?

It means that I will be writing more and hopefully be more visible here. There are still days when endometriosis and cerebral palsy rear their heads and make things more difficult than I wish. That's ok though as I'm getting more help. So my mental health is stable. Although I have still got the odd bad day.

So what's changing here?

There will be a few book reviews coming in. A few more personal posts about my favourite things. I will do a few makeup looks that I can do. Meaning anyone can do them. My range of clinical depression will also be spoken about as I've only hinted about it in posts. Although my cerebral palsy and endometriosis will always be the main theme of my blog and somewhere people can learn about either condition or both. Because I feel that there is not enough taught about either of them.

The future?

The future is always uncertain but it helps to prepare a little bit. So learning about each age group of people who have cerebral palsy or endometriosis.

Why am I doing this?

I'm doing this now because I'm in a better place than I have been and feel ready for a few little changes on the blog. I also know that there are going to be more changes ahead so I want to write while I can. There's going to be another move but I don't know when. Writing while I can is another positive step forward too. Right now this feels good and I know that it's the right thing to do. Especially as I have now been acknowledged as a digital creator on Facebook and Instagram. Which is where I'll be found a lot. My Instagram name is @sweetestmoonuk.

My hope for the future!

My hope for the future is that I can be around for a lot longer although there is no set age for people with cerebral palsy.

Cerebral palsy at 50

Introduction

Cerebral palsy is a neurological disorder that affects movement, posture, and coordination. It is caused by damage to the developing brain, most commonly before or during birth, but it can also occur in early childhood. The severity and symptoms of cerebral palsy can vary widely depending on the extent and location of the brain damage.

While cerebral palsy is typically diagnosed in childhood, it is possible for someone to be diagnosed with cerebral palsy later in life. This can occur if the symptoms were mild or went unnoticed earlier in life, or if the individual experiences a neurological event later in life that exacerbates existing symptoms or causes new ones.

At age 50, someone with cerebral palsy may experience a range of symptoms, depending on the severity and type of cerebral palsy they have. These symptoms may include difficulty with movement and coordination, muscle stiffness or spasticity, tremors or involuntary movements, difficulty with fine motor skills, and problems with speech, swallowing, or breathing. They may also experience pain or discomfort associated with their cerebral palsy.

It's important for individuals with cerebral palsy to work with their healthcare team to manage their symptoms and maintain their overall health and well-being. This may involve physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, medications, and other treatments. With appropriate care and support, many people with cerebral palsy are able to lead fulfilling and productive lives.

And the following is about how cerebral palsy has affected me as I turn 50.

What about me?

As I enter my 50s later this year I am learning and preparing for the next stage in my life.

I have mentioned the previous decades in the following posts CP and Depression in your 40s, CP and Depression in your 30s, young adults with cerebral palsy and Depression, Teens with CP and Depression and finally Dealing with Depression and Childhood with cp. Now as I move forward with the next step I've come to realise that for me anyway that the changes I face in the future are going to be even tougher than now.

What am I planing?

I am mentally and physically preparing for the time that I may end up in a wheelchair permanently. Right now though I'm only in one when I need to be in places where I can't use a mobility scooter or walk, because of getting tired in the process. I have also moved home twice in the past 3 years because of the situation. And those I have mentioned in Urgh Again! And others.

Why now?

Because I am now nearly 50 and although it is very likely that I will be living a long time. There is just no guarantee that will be the case. And as the changes come quicker the older I get I would like to be in a position where I can just get on without worrying about what is going to be happening next physically.

At the moment!

I am in the hopefully penultimate home before anything really happens. I am keeping myself able as much as possible while I can but the changes are coming. The thing is as my daughter said recently you can fight but eventually you will be tired of fighting against everything. So I am preparing for that time.

Why?

Because I want to be able to live without too much worry and still have fun and adventure whilst my body tires and changes over time. And before I am stuck and unable to do things for myself.

Final thoughts

I'm not being morbid, I'm being realistic as I know that things will happen. And I want to live my life to the fullest within the limits I have now and the future. I will also be bringing you along so that more people can learn about the condition.

What has been happening?

Why have I been so quiet?

I have been quiet and only occasionally posting when I have had time or felt like you the readers needed to know. 

Well at the moment I am in a temporary home with my family. We had been given a place that wasn't fit for purpose with my cerebral palsy needs. But only stayed there for a week before being given a place that's ok.

What does that mean?

It means that for now we have somewhere to live. But we still have to look for somewhere else. It's not like it used to be here in the UK. Where you just got given a home. But that's ok as there are so many people who need homes here in the UK. People may be saying wow and that's ok. However, so many things have changed since I grew up. In my last post the bad days I talk about how the world has changed for the better regarding equality. On the other hand there has been an expectation for those of us who have disabilities such as CP. Which is that we are not expected to have a family of our own. But are expected to live in a home for disabled people alone or just as a couple.

Who is to blame?

I'm not blaming local councillors or authorities because it's not totally their fault. The highest level of government doesn't see us so doesn't expect it. I blame them because they have the highest power in setting laws etc. And as far as I can see they don't listen to those of us who have broken the expectations and done things differently. Like me by having cerebral palsy and a family of my own. Thus expecting us to have a one or two bedroomed flat. 

What have I been doing?

I've mentioned that I moved twice because of cerebral palsy in the last 6 weeks. The last place as mentioned is a better fit for me although not perfect. And over the last 4 weeks I have been settling in and getting certain things done. 

What does that mean?

That means unpacking what is needed and using up everything that we have but don't necessarily need consistently. It also means that I have been decluttering even more than before when I moved originally back in 2020. I talk about that move in urgh again.

What's next?

The next step is just to be grateful for what we have and make the next steps until we get the forever home or the one that is fit for purpose when it comes to the point that I end up in a wheelchair. And that's ok. 

What are the next steps?

The next steps are:

• Going to local meetings for people who are in difficulties.

• Look at privately owned homes where the landlords are willing to do work to adapt their homes. 

• Bid on homes on homechoice that are fit for me.

Now!

While waiting for homes to come up, there is nothing I can do but wait for other people to do their things. It has been known to frustrate me and it will for a while but I know that this is the best thing for now!

The bad days!

What do I mean?

What do I mean by the bad days? I mean the days when the disability, chronic pain, anxiety and depression all throw tantrums in my face. The days that for whatever reason I feel that my life should be hidden.  

Those days!

Those days are getting fewer but I know that they will never go away completely. They are the most horrible days when all I want to do is hide and sleep until either the pain goes away or something else changes. And that's not going to happen despite my dream and wishes.

I don't want to die although in my formative years that has been the case.

When I was growing up it was the end of the generation where the children were told to be seen but not heard and the disabled were still put in care homes rather than out in society learning, doing and earning when they can.

It was a time when the lbgtq+🏳️‍🌈 community was also hidden and denied. 

Coming to terms!

Now there has been so much change yet nothing really changes at the same time.

In general most minority societies are accepted and yet there are times when we are expected to hide. Or other members of society are ashamed of us. And I think that will always be. Members who would rather we were still hidden or didn't exist. But that's not going to happen. I'm glad about that.

At the moment!

As I have said, things have changed, but not enough. For me the world has only taken a few steps towards equality for all the disabled.

  

What would I like?

I would love it if there was more equality for us regarding living in homes too. Because there's not enough housing for people who are disabled and have families of their own. It is almost like we are not allowed to be able to have a family.

What's happening?

What do I mean by that? At the moment it is known that we are in the process of getting a home that is fit for me and the future that may happen. This is the ongoing theme at the moment that I post about in posts such as In limbo waiting for the future. Especially as cerebral palsy causes so many changes as you get older with the condition. Those I have mentioned in other posts such as what is spastic cerebral palsy

 

What's next?

I don't really know what is next for the future for anyone let alone myself. Although I am working on some things that I need for myself. But I hope that there is more equality for everyone no matter what.

What about you?

So what do you think about this? What are your thoughts on this?

Right now!

Hey!

I have been reticent recently regarding writing and doing my podcast episodes. This post is all about that.

Another apology!

Things have been erratic with me since having COVID last month. I have also been feeling a bit anxious and worried about things as I still haven't had an answer for something. My mind has been on that lately. Which hasn't been exactly what I wanted. Writing this post has helped me feel a bit better. However, I'm unclear in what direction I want this blog and podcast to go right now so while I'm thinking things through I will write when I can

The options!

The options are as follows!

1. Stay the same.

2. Change direction.

3. Only do 1of the things.

4. Stop completely.

There is one thing I don't think I can do is give it all up as I feel that explaining cerebral palsy and endometriosis and how it affects my life. Can be an insight for others and a solace for those of us who have either condition or even both. Yet I am uncertain what step to choose. 

Option 1:

This one I'm not sure about as there are so many different things such as make-up, skincare, books, music, food, and tech. Also suffering from anxiety and depression are other options. Just to write about the conditions although helpful wouldn't be as interesting for the reader.

Option 2:

This option I'm not sure about as I am not sure what direction I would take the blog and podcast unless I focus on one of the other topics I already mentioned.

 

Option 3:

This option would be just to write about one of the 2 main topics such as cerebral palsy or endometriosis. I think though this might be an idea again it may be a bit boring.

Outcome:

By writing this post I think that I will stick with incorporating everything to show that we are just the same as anyone else.

Your ideas:

However, I really would appreciate your feedback. So please leave your comments below.

Does cerebral palsy affect intelligence?

This is one of the most common questions I get

So what do I mean by that? 

Well, as mentioned before in this blog. In various posts such as life with mixed diplegic cerebral palsy What is the difference between us Learning who you are! Just to name a few. And quite honestly the answer in my opinion is no! 

My reasoning for this?

Just because someone has the condition does not mean they are going to be of low intelligence. A condition of  Cerebral palsy is a form of brain injury. Not a person's intelligence. 

What are the main functions of the cerebrum?

 

The largest part of the brain, the cerebrum initiates and coordinates movement and regulates temperature. Other areas of the cerebrum enable speech, judgement, thinking and reasoning, problem-solving, emotions and learning. Other functions are related to vision, hearing, touch and other senses.

Meaning that cognitive parts of the brain are affected by cerebral palsy but it doesn't mean that we are low intelligence because we have to think things in a different way.

Many of us are teachers, university staff and much more. If that was the case there wouldn’t be people who had the condition but were in these jobs.

There is this misconception that because we have a disability it means that we have low intelligence. And that is just not true!

That would be like gagging people of all types by what they can do, not how someone thinks.

To show another example of this would be professor Stephen Hawking. Who, although had Motor Neurone Disease (ALS) was able to teach and research at the prestigious University in Cambridge, United Kingdom. Until his death in 2018. His IQ was 160 which was the same as another theoretical physicist Albert Einstein. He is most famous for his theory of general relativity. 

So although Stephen Hawking was physically disabled by Motor Neurone Disease it did not take his ability to think away. This would mean that as the disease took hold then he would have been put in a care home never to be heard of in the first place.

Therefore cerebral palsy is a condition that affects the brain and the body physically. It does not mean we have low intelligence. 

Societies angle.

As far as I can see from a personal point of view it is the generations before who have thrust their opinions on all disabled, not just those of us who have cerebral palsy. But every type of disability.

What do I mean?

Right up to the 1980s here in the United Kingdom people who have any disability at any level were put into care homes. 

It was even evident during the 1990s when I was out with my now-husband we heard an old lady say that in her day people were put away.

We were put away for being different and deemed simple-minded just because our limbs were not able to be used the same way.

And unfortunately, the lingering thoughts of having disabled people put away is still being considered no matter how badly a person is physically affected. Because being disabled is not the norm. 

But what is the norm?

Being short-sighted, long-sighted having to wear glasses, wearing hearing aids because we’re hard of hearing. I Have asthma. These are the accepted norms for what I’ve seen people think but walking differently, speaking differently unless you are from a different area of the same country are classed not. 

There is also the problem of being of different races and religions that are still being argued about too. 

So my final thought on this is what is normal?

What are your thoughts on this?

I have used information from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

Wikipedia for Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein