There's been so much chaos over the last few years with the pandemic, selling and moving home. During this time I have been trying to be as positive as possible. However, it hasn't been possible all the time. I have not felt like wearing nice clothes or anything. It felt like nothing was going to change. It was horrible and depressing. Something needed to change. And it did!
The last 2 years!
The stress of selling the old place was ridiculous because the feeling of being trapped was the biggest challenge. This was mentioned in Introducing Being trapped in House in a new light. For the first time after the best and biggest shock was the fact that we were going to sell the house. The feeling of excitement was really strong yet surprising. It was shocking as I hadn't expected it at the time. Living in a Victorian house could not be safe for me because it was not fit for purpose.
Because of my disability. As well as the pollution of where it exists. It also had a lot of emotional baggage with it. I had fallen over and hurt myself at times quite badly so my emotional feelings bounced back as anxiety and fear in case I fell and hurt myself again. Those feelings were so strong it was unbearable. There was lots of happiness because of living there and building a family there. We had outgrown the place quite literally. Both emotionally and physically. I mention the excitement of the sale in Moving on and the First steps of the future but I wasn't ready to mention the reasons other than the fact we had no space. Because being there made us as a family unhappy despite some happiness. I mention the house move in Thank goodness you have a moving date.
Alongside this was the beginning of a pandemic. The emotion of stagnation was really strong. despite the feeling of gratitude as we had a place to stay. while not being able to find a new home, whether it was temporary or not. But the wishes of a new place occurred so strong it was almost as if it was desperation and frustration.
The future is becoming brighter each day. We are temporarily living in a gorgeous place with freedom and pleasure in abundance. Some hiccups are trying to make life difficult again. But I am not tolerating them and starting to push those feelings of negativity away. It is not easy. Although there are days when I feel like I can't do anything nonetheless these are getting fewer. Which is fantastic. I have started to feel able to start looking after myself. I'm not quite ready to go back to wearing makeup but I'm getting there. There are challenges ahead but I'm getting better slowly but surely.
No one knows what the future holds really. For me though finding our forever home before the end of the year. And then finally settle down and deal with my condition while still being a voice for those who have no voice. As there are not as many people who feel that they have a voice.
Now what? Well for the next few months I will be getting ready for the final move whereas as a family we will be. And it's where I plan to thrive and use my voice to help others who haven't got a voice and get things they need.
The reasoning for this is because of my disability and the future. Not knowing what is going to happen due to the wear and tear of my body thanks to cerebral palsy and my ability to walk even though it is limited.
So what do I want you to do?
What I would love you to do is read my posts or listen to my podcast and tell others about them so that they can learn more about cerebral palsy from a different perspective. Because everyone deserves equality but doesn't get it.