Sunday Reflection: Reclaiming My Name through 'Nobody's Girl'"

 Dear Diary,

It is Sunday, and I’m finally sitting down to find my rhythm after a week of navigating the usual "brick walls." I’ve spent the morning thinking about Nobody’s Girl by Virginia Giuffre. It’s one of those books that stays with you, especially when your own body is screaming for a "Red Light" day.

This book feels like a series of "Mirror Moments" for me. Virginia talks about the "Invisible Cage"—that feeling of being trapped not just by circumstances, but by the systemic betrayal of people who should have protected you. Seeing the "receipts" of her father's actions while she was fighting for her own name... It’s a heavy reminder of why I’m so focused on my own Evidence of Success. When the world tries to take your name, you have to be the one to reclaim it.

The part that really hit my bandwidth was her battle with the physical cost. She writes about Fibromyalgia, depression, and severe neck pain. It’s a perfect example of "The Body Keeps the Score." Her body was trying to carry the weight of the world, and it eventually gave out. As someone living with Stage 4 Endometriosis and CP, I felt that in my soul.

She achieved so much for "the newer ones," but the cost was so high. It’s a tragic reality that we can find our way out of the Cage and into the Sanctuary, but we still carry the scars of the battle.

The Verdict: Virginia is the ultimate warrior. She reclaimed her legacy for her children even when her body was failing her. It’s given me a lot of "stickability" fuel for Book 5. We aren't defined by the cage; we are determined by the strength it took to break out of it.

Challenges Ahead Part 1

 You're 20 years old and in some respects. You have the rest of the world and your life ahead!

You have had a lot of physiotherapy sessions all through your childhood. It stops as soon as you become an adult. What is next? That is the question.

You don’t know what you’re going to do next and how you are going to do to keep yourself as agile and fit as possible?

All your life had to be split between going to physio sessions and school.

Now that’s all over you’re meant to get on with your life on your own.

You are half excited and half scared witless. You know that physio has stopped. It means it's up to you to do the work no one nagging at you to do your exercises. All you want to do is be normal!

What do you want to tackle first?

Work?

Life in general?

Physio?

Work

This is going to be a choice of options for what you can do physically, or not. Yes, that is the reality of the world. It's not what you want to hear. Some so many people are ignorant of the condition.

It's your chance to prove that we can do whatever we set our minds to.

In the USA, 9 main famous people who have the condition Josh Blue a comedian, Abby Nicole Curran; Pagent winner and founder, Dan Keplinger Artist and Speaker; Geri Jewell author, actress, comedian and speaker; Christy Brown artist, poet and author; RJ Mitte actor, producer, model and activists; Bonner Paddock athlete and advocate; Jhamak Ghimire writer; Maysoon Zayid Comedian and activist

. To find out more about them check out 9 famous people with cp.

In the UK, there are not as many well known, but Hannah Cockroft MBE Paralympian, David Smith MBE Paralympian

, pic British Paralympic Association, Lee Ridley comedian are just a few.

That doesn’t mean you can’t be whatever you want as long as you know your own limitations without being negative or restrictive.

I never really wanted to do anything business-wise. I was a creative child making my jewellery other things.

However, it was thought that I would be best at doing office work but started as a cashier for local stores while training to be an office administrator.

It wasn’t what I really interested in doing and my own dreams were not really heard.

It is only now in my late 40s that I actually managed to do what I wanted to do which is writing in various forms. To prove the point I have a series of poetry books published and I write this blog, intending to educate people about cerebral palsy with my take on it. You can get my books from here Questions, More questions and The monster within

But the choice is yours and not what other people want you to or expect you to do.

Once you have decided what you want to do either short term or long term.

Yes, you may want to find your own home. So that might have a bearing on your dreams as well but that depends on your own circumstances.

Life in General

What’s next? You are on your own and are single. You have not really considered what is your next move because you are not sure what you want personally. So think about what you want!

1. Partner
2. Family
3. Pets.

Or are you in a situation where you need constant care? That doesn’t matter. You can still do things for yourself. You are your own person. You have your own feelings and wants. It's your life, it's your body you are living in.

Being disabled doesn’t mean you can’t have a partner. The attraction is attraction whoever it is you want to be with. You need to show the person that you are just the same but yet have some challenges that they don’t have.

Do you want pets? Think about, what can look after yourself, rather than leaving it to the people who care for you. The choice of a pet has to be something that you love but look after it on your own.

Physiotherapy

Has this gone out the window? I bet it has. It certainly did when I was your age. You know what though, you need to do it. Yeah, it's a pain in the backside but you need to keep doing it. You feel like your body is invincible and you can do almost everything everyone else is doing but truthfully in the next 20 years, things will begin to change. Your body will change a lot quicker than the average person. I talk about my own life in common questions for me and Life with Diplegic Mixed Cerebral and how it has changed so far. Seriously though stick with them because as you get older your body does wear out quicker and you will become tired quicker. But to maintain your tone and everything

Urgh! More changes ahead! Can't wait but good things come to those who wait!

 Oh no! Not again!

I have been struggling with things the last few weeks. I hate having them but depression and anxiety have been a real big struggle for me and I’m still having moments daily with anxiety kicking in. I know why but they are things that are out of my control. These are things that change the future of myself and the family and these things are scary. They are exciting but scary too.

Dealing with each emotion as they come:

For me, 4 main emotions come across me in anxiety and these are:

• Fear
• Worry
• Anger
• Frustration

These are because of the worry for the future and my family and the fact I am worried that what I want for the future

Fear:

I have an amazing family and I am not sure what is going to happen in the future for them. I want them to be happy and do exactly what they want to do. Even if at the moment I have to consider my own life at the same time for the now.

Worry:

Here things seem to be more stressful. But here are where things are less controllable. Because of the things I am planning for the future. I find that the people I am waiting for have their decision before I can take the next step for our goals.

Anger:

This feeling is because of the worry from the plan not going ahead as planned

Frustration:

Again this emotion is coming up because of the other feelings that are brought up by other peoples actions or lack of action. Causing the uncertainty of the future for everyone else. Because I am not really worried about myself.

What do I do?

• Acknowledge the feelings
• Keep busy
• Read
• Listen to podcasts
• Listen to music
• Eat
• Write my posts here.

But there are lots of different ways you can deal with them. Some of them are negative so although they are known I won’t mention them here. But the following are:

• Reading
• Watching movies
• Listening to podcasts
• Listening to books (Audible)
• Sleeping
• Have a shower
• Eat comfort food.

What Now!

This is up to you because anxiety and depression are often interlinked and can be helped. Although it is said that you can be cured I feel that you can’t be cured but it can be held at bay for an indefinite length of time. As it's always possibly going to come back because of some event that could trigger it.

For Me.

Because of my own feelings that I mention I have decided to incorporate various things here so that there are different ways to show you that although there are many differences between people like me with disabilities and those of you who are reading this post who don’t have any physical condition but yet suffer from similar mental conditions. I am starting to bring things to a complete circle to prove that we are capable of doing things. There will be various ways to learn about cerebral palsy from a personal view. I can’t wait to show you.