Urgh! More changes ahead! Can't wait but good things come to those who wait!

 Oh no! Not again!

I have been struggling with things the last few weeks. I hate having them but depression and anxiety have been a real big struggle for me and I’m still having moments daily with anxiety kicking in. I know why but they are things that are out of my control. These are things that change the future of myself and the family and these things are scary. They are exciting but scary too.

Dealing with each emotion as they come:

For me, 4 main emotions come across me in anxiety and these are:

• Fear
• Worry
• Anger
• Frustration

These are because of the worry for the future and my family and the fact I am worried that what I want for the future

Fear:

I have an amazing family and I am not sure what is going to happen in the future for them. I want them to be happy and do exactly what they want to do. Even if at the moment I have to consider my own life at the same time for the now.

Worry:

Here things seem to be more stressful. But here are where things are less controllable. Because of the things I am planning for the future. I find that the people I am waiting for have their decision before I can take the next step for our goals.

Anger:

This feeling is because of the worry from the plan not going ahead as planned

Frustration:

Again this emotion is coming up because of the other feelings that are brought up by other peoples actions or lack of action. Causing the uncertainty of the future for everyone else. Because I am not really worried about myself.

What do I do?

• Acknowledge the feelings
• Keep busy
• Read
• Listen to podcasts
• Listen to music
• Eat
• Write my posts here.

But there are lots of different ways you can deal with them. Some of them are negative so although they are known I won’t mention them here. But the following are:

• Reading
• Watching movies
• Listening to podcasts
• Listening to books (Audible)
• Sleeping
• Have a shower
• Eat comfort food.

What Now!

This is up to you because anxiety and depression are often interlinked and can be helped. Although it is said that you can be cured I feel that you can’t be cured but it can be held at bay for an indefinite length of time. As it's always possibly going to come back because of some event that could trigger it.

For Me.

Because of my own feelings that I mention I have decided to incorporate various things here so that there are different ways to show you that although there are many differences between people like me with disabilities and those of you who are reading this post who don’t have any physical condition but yet suffer from similar mental conditions. I am starting to bring things to a complete circle to prove that we are capable of doing things. There will be various ways to learn about cerebral palsy from a personal view. I can’t wait to show you.

WHAT IS THE FUTURE GOING TO BE? Positive or negative!

 

PAST AND FUTURE!

The country is coming out of a difficult situation that many countries are still at the centre of an epidemic that the world has not seen for a hundred years.

When the Spanish Flu killed 50million people worldwide. No one expected this to happen especially in this day in age as we have so much technology and other changes such as the changes in science. So that inoculation of the virus Covid19 has been introduced quicker than in the past when illnesses have caused catastrophic deaths in the last 200 years. These illnesses include Tuberculosis or TB for short, polio, scarlet fever, measles, as well as the Spanish flu from 1918 to 1920

HISTORICAL THOUGHTS!

This means that the human population of the planet has been able to pull its resources and find various ways to combat the virus and stem the number of deaths worldwide, for each of these illnesses. Meaning that with all the differences in the world we can work together for a common link.

MY OPINION REGARDING THIS!

Some people believe that it isn’t real or is caused by some kind of intervention whether it be politically motivated, technology-based or even alien life form-based.

Then again I am certain there are people from 100 years ago when the Spanish flu was rife people thought similar things for their lifetime. I know that in my family that far back it wasn’t mentioned.

In my opinion, this means that it was so severe that it was best not to talk about it. Put up a stiff upper lip as the saying goes. Or there weren’t as many cases family-wise therefore meaning again it wasn’t crucial despite its devastation worldwide.

There were always people who didn’t believe what was happening at the time. Meaning that the people who have different opinions even now won’t have their opinion changed unless they catch the virus or know someone else who had it.

SO WHAT’S NEXT?

I am writing this on a Wednesday afternoon full of nerves both negative and positive because tomorrow afternoon I am having in the jab to inoculate me from Covid19. I realise that because the virus is different for everyone and the injection affects everyone differently.

There are many different ways that it could go. I am being positive because it's no different than what happens with the winter flu jab as that is no actual flu cure but there is a way to curb its effects and reduce the number of deaths.

Here in the UK, everyone over the age of 70 or has some kind of underlying problem such as cerebral palsy, asthma just to name a couple. Have the winter flu jab.

The point is to look out for those of us who are not as immune or has other problems causing physical problems with breathing. So to have the jab is a way of saving lives. Not just yourself but other members of your family and friends.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

In doing this you are not only possibly saving yourself and your friends and family members. But everyone else locally who lives near you. It will also mean that health providers like the NHS here in the UK will not be in so much demand.

MY POINT IS THIS!

There will be those who as I said in a previous paragraph who are against the virus and think of it as a political agenda or something else are being quite selfish. I get it it's their opinion but are they doctors and scientists who have worked in the wards of the sick and dying of this virus I think not!

This is a sticking point because of the nature of the way the world is also being portrayed. Some of this is the government of the country that you are living in but also the press and the way they interpret what is being said by the professionals who know what they are talking about.

REASONING!

I am just a disabled person with my own opinion who tries to be objective on certain issues such as this because I know that I would rather be part of the solution than be part of the problem.

To end this post I just want to show the two sides of the story and perhaps you will make a decision that is good for everyone, not just yourself. Because although you are one person your own life affects many others not just your own. If you can’t think of it this way think of it as a pebble hitting the water with the ripples circulating out.

Just make up your own mind with facts and think about what you are doing and how it affects everyone, not just you!

Keah Brown! The woman behind #Disabled and Cute!

 

She is a disability rights activist who created the hashtag #Disabled&Cute. Which went viral in 2017. Keah went to university at Freedonia in New York and is currently a journalist and author of “The Pretty One: On life, Pop Culture, disability and other reasons to fall in love with me.”

I first found Keah Brown through Twitter and Maysoon Zayid @maysoonzayid. I had seen via Ted Talk

and resonated with her as we both have cerebral palsy. Keah Brown @Keah_Maria does too. So the same yet different.

Despite being disabled with the condition she does not let it define her. She uses a wheelchair as if it's a pair of comfy shoes that she can do almost anything in.

In her book, Keah Brown talks about coming to terms with the condition and loving herself. Even though she may never have love in a relationship.

She has the double whammy of being coloured. People would pity her but not her twin sister who does not have the condition. Jealousy and anger start within her life before working through things. Beginning to understand the disability does not define her but it is part of her. If people can’t accept that then tough because she loves herself and that’s enough. Even though she does want a partner.

I loved this reading. It really resonated with me because I have the same disability although it is different in many ways. It was the sense of frustration that I completely understood where she found things difficult to do. Because there have been times that I have felt exactly the same with things that I have found hard or been unable to do.

One of the things that I have also learnt from reading the book was that her wheelchair is like a comfy pair of shoes that she treats as her feet when she can’t use them. Which is something I have to realise is what I have to do at some point. Although I am holding back on that situation for as long as possible as I am more agile than her. But I know that my body is slowly wearing out.

This book is full of laughter and tears that really made me feel the same in many ways as I mentioned in a previous paragraph. This meaning I have the same thing in the sense that I need to love myself despite having a disability. And I have to accept that although the disability is part of me. it does not define who I am.

you can get the book here

and I really would recommend this book to anyone.