Life With Sweetestmoondust

It's still a lockdown in February. Nothing has changed since the beginning of Christmas 2020. Except everything has changed there are millions of people who have had their first immunisation jab to the virus. Yet millions are still waiting for their first.

HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON IN THIS LOCKDOWN.

You are not the only one who is struggling!

Remember everyone in this whole world is in a similar situation to yourself. So if you need to talk to people then do so. You can always contact me using email if you feel that you have no one to go to. Use your phone or the internet. If you can. 

Listen to your favourite books or podcasts. Such as Sweetestmoonduststyle. If you don’t haven’t any then binge on your favourite movies or shows. By DVD or by streaming such as Netflix or Amazon Prime. 

My favourite movies and shows are as follows:

The Post
Les Miserables
Picard
The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

Just to name a few.

 My fave books are as follows:

Complete works of Jane Austen
Terry Pratchett Discworld Series
The Complete Sherlock Holmes 

Although I read various types those are my go tos for comfort. I can put my mind in those places and be a visual observer of the story. Rather than going somewhere new and pay more attention to what is going on. 

Therefore, this is my safe place mentally although I do read several different types of books.

Another thing to do is to listen to positive music. This is my Spotify List with music from the 40s up to now. 

Or listen to some amazing positive podcasts. The following are my go-to positive shows if I really need a boost Be Positive Stay Positive and Every Day Positivity. Another Helpful podcast I listen to is  Happy Place and this is done by Fearne Cotton.  She also has written books that I love, giving tips on the inside chatter, negativity etc.

STILL, STRUGGLING WITH WHAT'S GOING ON?

It's ok to be in the mood that you are alone but you must realise that you are not alone.  A way to resolve an issue would be to help the elderly or disabled locally if you can. But if you cant just ring them up so that they know that tyhe6y are not alone just like you.

It is different living with one or more people because you can talk to that person or people.  There are times when you want to be silent and just recharge your batteries. This is a good idea especially as you sometimes clash emotionally and verbally.

You’re not the only one who is feeling like this right now. Everyone is to some degree. Remember that your well being is the first thing to think of before trying to help anyone else because if you don’t look after yourself then you will not be able to help anyone else.

So take a deep breath and take that first step to your self-care before anyone else.

WHATS NEXT!

I am writing this towards the end of the month and tonight the UK prime minister is laying out his next move for here. Hopefully, things will be heading to a positive future but no one truly knows what is in the future. Even before the virus made more problems for the world.

The virus has no bounds and does not pick any particular race, colour or religion so by looking after yourself and your family. If in a house with other people then ensure that you all work together and get this world back to some kind of normality. 

I need to be in some kind of bubble because of cerebral palsy and luckily I am with my family. I miss going out to see my friends and getting fresh air. Winter is drawing to a close, spring is coming at what seems to be a quick pace. This is when I tend to go out more in any case because of the warmer weather and the way it eases my cerebral palsy. I still also listen and read. There are days that I feel completely worn out and just want to do nothing. That’s ok too!

Don’t panic too much and get your inoculation if you are offered it and just carry on protecting yourself and those you love until we get back to some kind of normality because I very much doubt that the world will be the same again.

What are the problems with pregnancy and cerebral palsy?

After the birth of the child or children!
The first 5 years of motherhood.
The side effects of having children as a person with cerebral palsy.
The positives of having children while having cerebral palsy. 

These are the questions that are often thought of by the families and women themselves that have cerebral palsy. 

Cerebral palsy itself is not the reason not to have children. It is not contagious, it is not hereditary. It is the secondary problems that will be the issues that make either childbearing or parenthood or both a challenge. 

I mention in my post Life with Diplegic Mixed Cerebral palsy what types of cerebral palsy I have and in What is Spastic Cerebral Palsy I talk about that particular type of cerebral palsy. 

For me, the problems I incurred during pregnancy were actually minimal until I was in the last trimester. I was carrying twins and where they were sitting during that time caused problems. 

These problems are even known for the average woman carrying a baby let alone twins. So taking time to walk anywhere took longer. Going to the toilet more often, morning sickness.

 In the last trimester, however, I found it harder to walk anywhere except around the home where I would do what is commonly known as furniture walking. This form of walking is even done by the average elderly because they find it safer. 

But when I was going for checkups or anything else I would use a wheelchair as I would be exhausted just walking out of the house.

The whole thing depends on your own circumstances and what problems you or your partner has regarding cerebral palsy. So please talk with your specialist but it shouldn't make any difference.

When giving birth, it shouldn't matter how either by natural or cesarian because it depends on your own circumstances and what's best for you and the baby/babies. For me, I had a cesarian because one of my babies was a breach. So it was safer for them to be delivered that way. However, it doesn't mean I didn't want to try naturally but it was safer the other way.

So What's next? After the birth of the child or children!

You get home after a day or two in the hospital and things have changed forever. Yes, there will be challenges. Like who is doing the nappies? who is feeding the baby? whos changing the child clothes and what about your own care? 

You need to ensure your own safety as well as the child or children who you have. This will have to be some kind of network to support you during the first five years of the child's life. This should be your family and friends who support you anyway. There are also support groups but you will need to check what is available for your area and if you have to pay for it or not. If not can you pay for a nanny or Aupair?  

The first 5 years of motherhood.

So you get home and you have a network of friends and family and support groups that help you on a day to day basis but you are in control of what you can do and what you can't and need support with. each month changes because the child grows and your own challenges will change at the same time.

For me, having twins was a challenge. I have a fantastic husband who supported me by taking the night feeds when I needed the extra sleep or helped me with changing nappies when it was needed. As well as having him I was able to put my twins into a nursery for a certain amount of time so both of us could have a sleep or do something else for ourselves. We also benefited from a charity called Homestart that supported families who have multiple births with at least one under the age of five. But these things are not always available so you need to find out what you have in your area.

The side effects of having children as a person with cerebral palsy.

Physically being a mum who happens to have cerebral palsy and did change my body. I was 33 when I had my twins and after a couple of years, I noticed lots of changes in my own condition.  These include more tiredness, general wear and tear on my body meaning early-onset arthritis. I also developed flat feet as my arches collapse chasing around after two toddlers. both of whom are going in opposite directions. 

Once the kids got to 3 years old I put them into preschool so that they socialised the same as any other children. Thus giving me time to do things like preparing for the meal at the end of the day or washing etc. These are things I'd do when the kids were taking a nap while they were at home.

While the children were there I would do a chore then sit and take a break to restore some of the energy and continue this throughout the day to conserve the energy I needed for when the kids came home.

It was also at this point when I started teaching the kids to do simple chores. These could be putting their leftovers in the food bin and their plate by the sink or help mummy sort the colours of clothing out so that a load could be done. 

Some of these chores were also being at preschool so I was only reinforcing what was being taught at preschool or nursery. One of the biggest things I found help was actually having a cleaner in to do the chores that I couldn't do and what I wouldn't expect the kids to do at such a young age. A gardener was also a godsend for me as I'm not particularly green-fingered and my hubby isn't either. 

But again all these things depend on what type of cerebral palsy you have and where you live. They also depend on what you are living in. Me I am living in a two up two down townhouse with victorian stairs. Meaning that they are extremely steep and narrow similar to the ones below.

But as I have got older my energy is weaning as things take me longer to do than the average person but it does not mean I can't be a mum.

The positives of having children while having cerebral palsy. 

The biggest positive of being a mum while having cerebral palsy is that you are teaching the next generation of human beings how to accept differences in people.
You are also teaching the next generation how to be self-sufficient in life.  
There are different challenges for every case but then everyone is different. When you decide to try to have kids then research about your own body and decide for yourself. do not let others persuade you otherwise.

Love and peace
xxx