Sunday Reflection: Reclaiming My Name through 'Nobody's Girl'"

 Dear Diary,

It is Sunday, and I’m finally sitting down to find my rhythm after a week of navigating the usual "brick walls." I’ve spent the morning thinking about Nobody’s Girl by Virginia Giuffre. It’s one of those books that stays with you, especially when your own body is screaming for a "Red Light" day.

This book feels like a series of "Mirror Moments" for me. Virginia talks about the "Invisible Cage"—that feeling of being trapped not just by circumstances, but by the systemic betrayal of people who should have protected you. Seeing the "receipts" of her father's actions while she was fighting for her own name... It’s a heavy reminder of why I’m so focused on my own Evidence of Success. When the world tries to take your name, you have to be the one to reclaim it.

The part that really hit my bandwidth was her battle with the physical cost. She writes about Fibromyalgia, depression, and severe neck pain. It’s a perfect example of "The Body Keeps the Score." Her body was trying to carry the weight of the world, and it eventually gave out. As someone living with Stage 4 Endometriosis and CP, I felt that in my soul.

She achieved so much for "the newer ones," but the cost was so high. It’s a tragic reality that we can find our way out of the Cage and into the Sanctuary, but we still carry the scars of the battle.

The Verdict: Virginia is the ultimate warrior. She reclaimed her legacy for her children even when her body was failing her. It’s given me a lot of "stickability" fuel for Book 5. We aren't defined by the cage; we are determined by the strength it took to break out of it.

Life Gives You a Code Brown... Win or Learn.

Dear Diary

Today feels like a mix of chaos and clarity. They say never work with children or animals, but Graeme Parker (The Hoof GP) works with half-ton cows that can kick you into next week. He does it with a smile, usually while his team—Craig and Cameraman Graham—are taking the mick out of him in the background.

I’ve just finished reading Code Brown (and his first book), and what struck me wasn’t just the farming. It was the electricity. Graeme is open about his Bipolar and ADHD, and you can feel that energy in everything he does.

Today, my own body is doing what I call "bouncing while flaring." My Endometriosis is shouting, but my brain is running at a hundred miles an hour. It’s a chaotic mix of high energy and chronic pain, and it made me realise I’m operating on the same philosophy Graeme lives by: Win or Learn.

The Accent that Changed Everything

One of the stories that stuck with me most wasn't about a cow at all. It was about the RAF. Graeme passed the physicals, passed the tests, and was ready to serve—only to be failed because of his accent.

It was an "embarrassing" rejection. It was unfair. But instead of letting that define him, he took it as a lesson. If he had joined the RAF, there would be no Hoof GP. No YouTube channel. No millions of views. It’s the ultimate example of a "Code Brown" moment turning into fertilizer for something better.

The "Have a Go" Hero

We live in a world that loves to over-plan (and over-worry). But when it came to rescuing Fiona, "The Loneliest Sheep," Graeme didn't wait for a safety assessment or a TV crew’s schedule. While the media were busy planning the perfect shot, he and his friends just went up the mountain and got her.

It reminds me of how we have to advocate for ourselves with disability. Sometimes, you can’t wait for permission. You just have to "have a go." Whether that is standing your ground against activists who don't understand the reality of the job, or standing up to a medical system that doesn't understand your pain.

The Real Cost of Grit

But let's not romanticize it. The job is brutal. Just before Christmas, Graeme nearly lost the use of two fingers from a cow kick. That isn't in the book—that is real life happening right now. It is a reminder that even when you are an expert, the risks are real.

The Verdict

Reading Code Brown felt like looking in a mirror—not because I want to trim cow hooves (definitely not!), but because of the resilience. It’s about showing up when you’re tired. It’s about laughing when things go wrong. And mostly, it’s about accepting that life is messy.

So, if you are having a "Code Brown" kind of day—whether it’s a flare-up, a bad meeting, or just a mess you can't clean up yet—remember the Hoof GP philosophy:

You don't lose. You either win, or you learn.

love

Sunday Thoughts: The Art of Sitting Still (When the Mind is Running)

 

Dear diary,

It’s a new normal Sunday for me.

Usually, the world tells you that Sundays are for resetting, for planning the week ahead, or for going out on big family adventures. But if you’ve been following this blog for a while—or if you live with a disability or chronic illness yourself—you know that our calendars don't always look like everyone else's.

Today, my calendar just says: Rest.

I’m sitting here with a cup of tea (the third one? possibly the fourth), listening to the hum of the house. The washing machine is doing its thing in the background—a sound that always grounds me—, and I am trying, really trying, to listen to my body.

Living with Cerebral Palsy (CP) is a constant negotiation. It’s a daily board meeting between what my brain wants to do and what my body is actually willing to permit. Lately, the physical side of things has been loud. There have been twinges in my neck, pain in my foot, and that heavy, familiar fatigue that feels like wearing a coat made of lead.

In the past, I would have fought this. I would have sat here feeling guilty, looking at the dust motes dancing in the light, thinking about all the things I should be doing. I would have worried that I wasn’t being consistent enough, or loud enough, or "productive" enough.

But I’m learning that there is a difference between being "productive" and being "creative."

Because even though I am physically sitting still—because the CP demands it today—my mind is travelling at a hundred miles an hour. That is the strange, beautiful contradiction of this life. The body might be parked in the slow lane, but the imagination is racing down the motorway.

That’s actually how my latest book came to be.

You might have seen that Book 4 is finally out in the wild. It’s on Amazon now, sitting there with its shiny cover, available for anyone to read. It feels strange to say it’s "done." For months, those poems were my constant companions. They were the scribbles made in waiting rooms, the notes typed out on my phone in the middle of the night when sleep wouldn't come, and the thoughts that kept me company when I was stuck in a chair, unable to move much else.

Now that it’s out, the standard advice is to push it. Market it. Shout about it. Post about it every hour.

But that’s not really the "Sweetestmoondust" way, is it?

The book is out there. It exists. It is a branch of this tree, but it isn’t the whole tree. The tree is this—the reality of a Sunday where the biggest achievement is managing the pain levels and keeping the peace.

And besides, my brain has already moved on.

Even as I sit here nursing this tea, guarding my energy, I can feel the spark of something new starting to catch. It’s the "writer’s curse"—you finish one project, and before the ink is even dry, the next idea starts tapping on your shoulder. I’m already plotting the next thing. I won’t say too much yet (mostly because it’s still a chaotic mess of notes and daydreams), but it’s there.

It reminds me that resilience isn't always about fighting the current. Sometimes, resilience is just floating.

So, if you are reading this and feeling guilty because you aren’t "hustling" today, or because your body has forced you to stop when you wanted to go—please, take a breath with me.

You are allowed to just be. You are allowed to let the washing machine provide the soundtrack to your day. You are allowed to let your creative work be a quiet stream rather than a flood.

I am going to finish this tea. I am going to rest my neck. And I am going to let the new ideas bubble away quietly in the background while I do absolutely nothing else.

Thank you for being here, and for reading the branches of my story.

With love (and plenty of tea),

💓

Behind the Headlines: a review of ;Small Pleasures by Clare Chambers

I

had already mentioned this book in my previous book review of “Hamnet” by Maggie O'Farrell. Here is my review.

Synopsis:

This book is fiction although is slightly connected to a true event although very slight. It is about a possible virgin birth and all the events surrounding it.

It is centred around the main character Jean who's 39 and a journalist. And her want for the truth of a possible virgin birth. The difficulty is that it is set in 1956 when women are still considered to be at home looking after family unless they are single or have no children.

Themes:

Unlike the previous book, this has two themes that are different from it and they are

• Love

• Virgin birth

• History

• Sexuality

Love:

The attitude towards love at this time was still declared illegal for people of the same sex to love each other. Which is why I embolden the virgin birth and sexuality. There also is the romance of Jean and another character which would be heterosexual.

Virgin birth:

This is a complex theme as this is before the time of IVF and all the medical advancements that are available now. However, the fact that a character believes that they may have conceived a daughter through immaculate conception is unlikely. But the fact that they were at a hospital run by nuns when they conceived makes them question the event.

History:

This is a lovely theme as similarly to the previous book it is based around an essence of truth. The story at the end is the real Lewisham train accident that happened. However, the way the history is also linked in by the excerpts of newspaper articles from local papers throughout the chapters.

Sexuality:

This theme is what I would say was the main theme because of the love of Jean and another other character. More than that though it's the subtlety or lack of subtlety of the love between the character who gave birth to the child and another girl who had been at the hospital at the same time.

My thoughts:

This was a lovely book. I really enjoyed reading it. In fact, I couldn't put it down. It was such a pleasure

My Favourite Authors

Everyone has their favourite authors, those whose words and stories have touched their hearts and minds in a meaningful way. For me, there are ten authors who stand out above the rest as my absolute favourites. In this blog post, I will share a little bit about each of these authors and what makes them so special to me.

Terry Pratchett 

is at the top of my list, and for good reason. His Discworld series is a masterful blend of fantasy and satire, with richly-drawn characters and a clever wit that never fails to make me laugh out loud. Pratchett's writing is both entertaining and insightful, and his books always leave me feeling uplifted and inspired.

Agatha Christie 

Another author who holds a special place in my heart. Her detective novels are classic whodunits, with intricate plots and memorable characters that keep me guessing until the very end. Christie's writing is both clever and engaging, and her ability to weave together complex mysteries is truly impressive.

Sir Connan Doyle 

Perhaps best known for his creation of Sherlock Holmes, one of the most iconic characters in literary history. Doyle's writing is marked by his keen eye for detail and his ability to create complex, multi-layered plots that keep me on the edge of my seat. His stories are timeless classics that I never tire of re-reading.

Iain Banks 

is another favourite of mine, particularly his science fiction novels written under the name Iain M. Banks. His writing is marked by his visionary world-building, his philosophical themes, and his memorable characters. Banks' novels are both thought-provoking and entertaining, and I always find myself fully immersed in his imaginative worlds.

Reginald Hill 

is a British author best known for his Dalziel and Pascoe series of detective novels. Hill's writing is marked by his clever wit and his ability to create memorable characters that feel like old friends. His plots are always intricate and unpredictable, and I never grow tired of trying to solve the mysteries alongside his detectives. He died in 2012.

Charles Dickens 

is a literary giant whose works have stood the test of time. His novels are epic in scale, with vividly-drawn characters and a powerful social commentary that is still relevant today. Dickens' writing is both moving and entertaining, and his books have a timeless quality that continues to captivate readers of all ages.

J K Rowling  

a favourite of mine, particularly her Harry Potter seisries. Rowling's writing is marked by her incredible imagination, her memorable characters, and her ability to create a fully-realized magical world that feels both familiar and new. Her books are a joy to read, and I always find myself swept away by her storytelling. Although some of her personal views may be controversial.  

C S Lewis 

is an author whose works have had a profound impact on my life. His Chronicles of Narnia series is a masterful blend of fantasy and Christian allegory, with timeless themes of love, sacrifice, and redemption. Lewis' writing is both imaginative and insightful, and his books are a constant source of inspiration and comfort for me.

J R R Tolkien

is perhaps best known for his epic fantasy novel The Lord of the Rings. His writing is marked by his incredible world-building, his intricate plots, and his ability to create memorable characters that feel like real people. Tolkien's books have a timeless quality that continues to captivate readers of all ages, and his influence can be felt in countless works of fantasy fiction.

Ian Rankin 

is a Scottish crime writer best known for his Inspector Rebus series. Set in Edinburgh and the area around it. These include Knots and Crosses, Hide and Seek, Tooth and Nail just to name a few. In total there are 27.

I was introduced to these by the TV shows in the UK. With Scottish actors John Hannah and Ken Stott playing DCI Rebus.

Old and new things! the challenges of life

 The Old 

There are many things that I would love to be able to do. Many of which are out of the question. And yet there are many that I can do. 

My favourite things are books, makeup and music just to name a few. 

So much that I watch a few @YouTubers such as @LisaEldridge @DominiqueSaches and @WayneGoss for my makeup tips. Musically I listen to lots of different types such as #Jazz, #Pop, #Classical, #Swing, just to name a few. 

Bookwise I read a few favourites, such as @TerryPrattchet, @AgathaChristie, and @SirArthurConnnanDoyle. Although I am endeavouring to read more and different people. However, I am constantly drawn to my favourites especially when I am feeling low. 

New Challenges Suffering from clinical depression as part of my life because of cerebral palsy I end up feeling like hiding away and doing nothing. Yet as a child I remember my mum using my great grandmother's sewing machine. I remember her making dresses and quilting using scrap material.

As a child with cerebral palsy my agility and control of a foot pedal for a sewing machine was inconsistent. Meaning that it would sometimes become impossible possible for me to control the material and the speed of it going through the machine. 

But the thought of being able to make things for me has always been in my mind. As a teenager, I would make my own jewellery. 

New Challenges.  Similar to the items in the pictures above. However due to my age now and the effect cerebral palsy has on my fine motor skills, making it is harder to do the fiddly things. They are harder but not impossible. 

So after going through a cognitive therapy course early last year I decided to go to a group set up by a local charity called #InvolveKent. In which I have been learning how to use an electric sewing machine. I have also become more able to use the pedal. which is a great thing to check my maintenance in certain joints such as the ankle So although it won't be as neat as some at the moment I can do it. Or as the saying goes "do now get perfect later". I think the quote was said by @RichardBranson but I could be wrong.  For me, this saying is so true and has a meaning that I am just learning. 

But since selling the house my sewing has stopped as my machine is packed up ready for when we do move house. Are there any challenges new or old that you have? I'd love to know about them. Love and Peace  Xxx