Here and Now with CP! Life as it Happens with the Condition!

 I've been in this house, seven months now. I love it. I am used to being able to walk around a lot more easily and do more things for myself. It's so much b8igger than my original home But I would be silly enough on Friday to slip on a wet floor. That's what anyone can do.

So at the moment, I've got a top bigger top lip than I would normally have. I love it, but I wouldn't go down the operation route for it, I don't like injections or anything because it can go wrong that way unless it's done professionally.

Anyway, I have been quiet because of things going on around me, and I've been very worried about things going on as well. And life has taken over. Unfortunately, which is not what I wanted to do.

But I think in times of healing. Everything else has to go out the window, and it doesn't matter what you think is going on in your head or personally need to be able to do it quickly, or for as short long a period as you need. So if I do go quiet, it was because I'm going through a state of not being brilliant, and I'm just wanting to get on with getting things organised on one going life-ise and making myself feel a bit better.

Today, I managed to put a bit of primer on my face. Maybelline Baby Skin Pore Eraser is my favourite. It's so like the benefit one, but much cheaper. I love it, it stops me from feeling sweaty.

So I've realised, I'm just gonna keep using that, even if I don't wear makeup every day, I might just wear the primer to start with, because although I love makeup. I haven't worn it for a long time. I’ve not felt as if I've been well enough, mentally to do it, because of the way. I have been stressed out panicked about other little things that are not worth worrying about.

But they still make me worry about them, but also things in the family have been going on so I've been concentrating on those two. I know that I should probably be writing the video and everything else, a lot more emotion than I have been. I will try, but life gets in the way as I had said to you before.

I wanted to do it this way so that I didn't have to make it such a stressful, feeling for myself this Sunday, via the phone. And yes, to everyone else in the house, I'll probably look like a complete idiot talking to myself over the phone. But actually, this is a speedier way of me writing everything down. Doing anything else, because I can edit what I said. For the posts that I do for my blog. And I can keep it real on the audio and video because that's who I am not some kind of portrayed as someone else.

After all, this is the other thing I've been thinking about recently, and it's being true to yourself and wondering what is true to you and what do others perceive of you, or expect of you, because for a very long time and I mean a very long time. I have been. Although, trying to be me. I've always been what everyone else expected doesn't need to be. So, it's nothing, not been easy and I'm beginning to go through that process of thinking, Okay, it's time for me to be me and find the level of exception, except citations that I want, or anyone else wants because no one else matters in that respect because

it's my life, and, and, yeah, it's not what everyone else expects me to do.

But it's what I've wanted to do. I've noticed certain things that I've thought in their dreams that I've thought about a long long long time ago. They're slowly coming to fruition, you know, there have been things that have been stopping the flourishing of the plans because of other people's meddling or life generally getting in a way, because people think they know you better than yourself, which, which isn't the truth. After all, I know you, you know yourself.

If you can't get any feelings for yourself to accept and be who you should be, then you're you'll always be the one, what everyone else expects you to be what they think. Being honest to yourself and truthful to yourself is the most important thing because I'm slowly beginning to learn that people who I, thought was very, what I thought were important, are not very important at all.

After all, they don't understand my situation properly. I have been worried about that. But I'm gonna live my own life when I wanted to because it's important for me to do it the way I wanted. Not what everyone else expects.

I have been pretty lucky is what I've got and done and because a path from cerebral palsy is not expected to have a family, not expected to get married or have children. They are expected to be cared for by their parents or expected as I say to be put in a home, or something else. In my case that isn't because I am married, I'm happily married and have a family, and I'm very lucky and there are lots of us who have got so cosy who do have this chart, and have this in my blog, I have talked about ages. And what disability does throughout the ages! Challenges ahead part one and Challenges ahead part 2

But this is just a general to chat about today. Because of the way things have been this last week or two what I'm suspecting is the beginning of the hormone situation where things are changing because but we'll wait and see what's going on with that as well because it can take ages to find out what's going on.

You know what, though it doesn't matter. I'm happy, I'm safe, I know where I am, I know who I'm with. I also know that it's going to be okay in the future. Although it might seem to be boring or stressful waiting for the future or day by day, I know it's going to be okay. I know that it's going to be fine at times but the disability of realising has problems in some respect. Anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Because you wonder, people who have lots of money are happy or the because they haven't got everything else that they want people who have minimal money are very happy because they got all the people that they want, but may want some actual stuff but that they not necessarily can afford right now, it doesn't mean they can't have it, it can be a gold small goal to have in the future, or whatever. I'm gonna leave this one because it's I'm rambling again, I'm not making too many points in this post.

So I need to split them up, I think, talking about each topic at a time.

Taking the Lead

 

The saying goes “when you are given lemons you make lemonade“ 

Life certainly gives curveballs along the way and there are so many different aspects of life that things get challenging at different times.  This year has been no different with the virus and all the changes that came along with it.

There's a lot of things going on around me. That it feels like my head is going to explode. Everything that is happening is a positive move forward and I can't wait. But it has been stagnant because of the virus. With moments of movement that makes the stagnation all worth it.

The weeks seem to be the same waiting for the future but if you make little steps forward each day then you will get what you want. This applies to all parts of life even if you are not disabled. I hope this makes sense to you.  Love and Peace  Xxx 

Old and new things! the challenges of life

 The Old 

There are many things that I would love to be able to do. Many of which are out of the question. And yet there are many that I can do. 

My favourite things are books, makeup and music just to name a few. 

So much that I watch a few @YouTubers such as @LisaEldridge @DominiqueSaches and @WayneGoss for my makeup tips. Musically I listen to lots of different types such as #Jazz, #Pop, #Classical, #Swing, just to name a few. 

Bookwise I read a few favourites, such as @TerryPrattchet, @AgathaChristie, and @SirArthurConnnanDoyle. Although I am endeavouring to read more and different people. However, I am constantly drawn to my favourites especially when I am feeling low. 

New Challenges Suffering from clinical depression as part of my life because of cerebral palsy I end up feeling like hiding away and doing nothing. Yet as a child I remember my mum using my great grandmother's sewing machine. I remember her making dresses and quilting using scrap material.

As a child with cerebral palsy my agility and control of a foot pedal for a sewing machine was inconsistent. Meaning that it would sometimes become impossible possible for me to control the material and the speed of it going through the machine. 

But the thought of being able to make things for me has always been in my mind. As a teenager, I would make my own jewellery. 

New Challenges.  Similar to the items in the pictures above. However due to my age now and the effect cerebral palsy has on my fine motor skills, making it is harder to do the fiddly things. They are harder but not impossible. 

So after going through a cognitive therapy course early last year I decided to go to a group set up by a local charity called #InvolveKent. In which I have been learning how to use an electric sewing machine. I have also become more able to use the pedal. which is a great thing to check my maintenance in certain joints such as the ankle So although it won't be as neat as some at the moment I can do it. Or as the saying goes "do now get perfect later". I think the quote was said by @RichardBranson but I could be wrong.  For me, this saying is so true and has a meaning that I am just learning. 

But since selling the house my sewing has stopped as my machine is packed up ready for when we do move house. Are there any challenges new or old that you have? I'd love to know about them. Love and Peace  Xxx

Ok! What now? Things are changing yet again Urgh!

 Today, I have no makeup on, I have got tinted eyebrows and tinted eyelashes because I find that I can't do those easily. I get those done professionally, once a month.

Since COVID has slowed with everything and started to open things up a bit more recently. It's made a lot of things easier to do, especially as a disabled person with cerebral palsy, and the ability, or shall I say, lack of ability to do something for themselves, very much. because it's the way things are done. I, still haven't completely done, what everyone does, which is their legs or underarms yet, because I have not had time to do it. And because it's not been easy to get a place to do them because of my disability. I can't wait to have that back. I also have my nails done. with acrylic tips with infills.

And the reason I wanted to do that is that I'm finding if I'm like that. I have some kind of control over what my body has and does. it makes me more like me to be free, as a human.

I've been talking about COVID before. The fact that things were not able to be done. As for, for people like us with the disability and those who choose not to, but those who can do it on their own.

I wish it was more readily available for people like myself, to be able to have it as a proper way of life, and less of a treat. It's not just a choice, it's something we must have done because nobody doesn’t want to be looking their best.

I mean, at the moment. I'm not completely my best I'm my hair is a bit of a mess as you see in the photo above.

I've got no makeup on as my skin has been a bit iffy and I haven't felt right, in myself, to do it. I mentioned in my last video that I had a tooth playing up so I went to the dentist and had that fixed now. I'm feeling a lot better, and it's fantastic weather at the moment and I'm loving the weather.

However, my skin hates it, it will not let any makeup stay on my skin, I have to be incredibly careful with it. I can only wear a moisturiser or a light BB cream in the summer, with a little bit of lipstick because I sweat everywhere on my face and I find it very difficult to have anything to stay on my face even with a primer.

I mean, I love my primers, and the primers I'm using right now are the ones from. I haven't got them with at the moment. Yeah, that it's the Maybelline ones I think if I remember rightly or the Revlon ones I'm using at the moment. Um, but I am adoring the Maybelline Baby cream, which is great. isn't thin and runny like some are great just to dab on and then using the kabuki brush. It's, you can make it smooth across your space, and it has SPF in it. The same with the Maybelline foundation liquid foundation which is good too.

Everyone is different, and I would love to know what everyone else thinks about this because I'm finding makeup hot and difficult to wear.

Although a touch of lipstick, goes a long way, and that is something that one of my heroes, or shall I say, heroines did and that's Marilyn. Marilyn Monroe. Because she wore bright red lipsticks quite often and had blonde hair. I've been researching a little bit about her, she said that her hair was called pillowcase blonde. For her, which is an interesting way of describing a type of blonde. So, although I haven't got that type of blonde. I wouldn't go that blonde and probably couldn't either.

I have got it curly like her, although it's not tidy. Although, because it's too hot for me and like many, I'm dealing with frizzy hair. and it's gone crazy with this weather, again, which I'm loving otherwise, and I felt a lot better since my little minute video that I did on my phone feeling absolutely rubbish and then having to have a feeling replaced.

I'm back from now. I will be trying to do more, but, again, because my moods, often change because of my disability on a to day basis it may be not as consistent.

I have said this in a lot of my posts as well. Because of that, I have a lot of different mood swings, and it makes it very difficult to have some kind of consistency. I am trying very very hard at the moment.

The one thing I'm loving, that is helping me is my volunteering with Galaxie global radio, and I'll put my link in for that as well. In my post, as well as on, the video so it's my thing that I do that for two shows a week. since originally posting this as a video the station has now been closed.

It gives me a bit of stability in a routine of sorts, you know, as well as sort of dealing with my skin.

When the kids are at school, I find it a lot easier to do things because they can not be in it and not disturb me.

Whereas, at the moment, or, at times when I have gone quiet is possible because I have had them at home. They've wanted my attention so I'd rather give them my attention than give the whole of my attention to a video, or whatever else I was doing.

Because it's not fair on them. to get them out of their routine and not give them anything. So, I've been talking about that to them and saying you know as long as you know they don't mind as long as I've mentioned it met up a minute. They don't mind being mentioned but not being put in. So, that's fine, I'm trying to hopefully get more routine going this week, and I'm a bit busy tomorrow, but I will try and put a video out maybe put an Instagram post out tonight. I'm out and about I should have really should have done what I was doing outside getting some stuff for the house. Because I've enjoyed what I was doing and I'll put that in a different post as well because that's something I've wanted to talk about too.

For now, I'm going to say love you and leave you and I'll see you next week because I will be back. Although it's going to be a little bit difficult during the holidays, I will try my best.

But if not, I will do the best I can. So I'm going to leave love you and leave you for now and I'll see you next time