When everyone else's dream is not your own

It can be difficult when your dreams don't match up with those of your peers or the people around you. It's important to remember that it's okay to be different and to strive for something that is uniquely yours. 

Don't be afraid to take the road less travelled and to follow your own path. You may find that it leads you to a place that is even more amazing than you ever imagined.

So what is stopping you?

The biggest thing stopping me is feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand. I'm trying to break it down into smaller steps that I can focus on one at a time, so that I can stay motivated and make progress.

And this has been most prevalent with the move that is coming up. Which is why I have been mentally exhausted and unable to write or even record my podcast when I know that I should. 

But I thought while in a bit of nomansland regarding it I thought what the heck. And thought that knowing and accepting that my dreams are different to everyone else would make a good post. 

Realising that my dreams are different.

In my last post a longer wait than I thought! I mentioned the situation and what's happening so I won't mention it again. 

But realising that my dream is not the same as everyone else is ok. 

There are people who have disabilities such as mine, cerebral palsy, and are able to get the dreams that most people aspire to but I never aspired to what was expected of me by my peers. 

Because of the uncertainty of what cerebral palsy does to the body as you get older. Each case and person is different. It is also not very well documented about the adults who have cerebral palsy as it is considered a childhood disability. 

Which is why I am here to show people how the condition affects people on a personal level as I age. I have written previously about what happens in a broad sense in the seasons and how they affect the body with cerebral palsy. And its series.

There is so much more!

There is so much more because everyone has a reason to be on this planet. 

I think I know that my reason is to be a voice for those who don't. And to help those who have family with the condition. But they feel that they don't understand what the condition is and how it affects us from a personal view. 

And that's part of my dream to be that voice and bridge between.

What next?

So although it is a quiet and stagnant time. Along with personal feelings of inadequacy and depression because of the situation I really wanted to write this post and be positive for the future.

For the future?

Well this at the moment is completely uncertain. And I can't plan ahead too much. That is doing my head in to a degree because I can't. Then again I know it is a lesson that I need to learn. So I am taking each day as it comes.

My hope!

Is that there will be some sort of stability after the holidays and that the home that I have will be the one. but if not then it's ok! Because nothing is truly final.

So what is next?

My aim is to continue writing about what is happening throughout this period. And beyond because that is my dream.

A longer wait than I thought!

Why am I writing now?

The reason I am writing now is because there is a longer waiting period than I had thought or had hoped for. I wanted to explain why I haven't written for such a long time.

What has been happening?

I had thought we would have moved by now but that isn't the case. The local council has very limited housing and because the needs I have the number of homes are reduced even further. This has made things very stressful. I know that it's the right decision even though the timing is off in my opinion.

What's the plan?

For the next 6 - 8 weeks it is a waiting game. The reason is because of where we are now. Most of our stuff is packed up in boxes ready to go. We were to be leaving in late November. However, that did not happen. Then we had thought that maybe mid December like the previous one a couple of years ago but that's not happening either! Now we are not sure when exactly or where. Yet it will be within the next 6-8 weeks. This means that we are where we are for the holiday season. 

Feelings about it!

There's so many different types of feelings going on within me and the family as a whole. The feelings include the following.

• Anger
• Frustration 
• Worry
• Annoyance
• Acception 
• Excitement
• Happiness

All of these feelings are felt all at once and individually. Throughout the day and sometimes at night. Meaning that I find it difficult to get to sleep.  

All of these feelings are normal, I know. Yet they can really disrupt me.

Why?

This is because they turn my attention to them rather than what I want to do, which is either writing, recording my radio show or spending time with the rest of the family.

The meantime!

During this time I won't be writing much if at all during this time as boxes are everywhere and making me unstable. So I am just sitting, watching TV, reading, listening to podcasts, audiobooks as well as slowly getting ready for the move. And doing lots of self development stuff as the cerebral palsy has many secondary problems. Some of them are mental health issues and others are physical problems that have occurred over time. These include for me the following:

1. General anxiety disorder.
2. Clinical depression.
3. Panic attacks.
4. Bone damage.
5. Arthritis.
6. Post impairment syndrome.
7. Bone disfigurement.

Some of these have been life long and some of them have been arriving the older I get. These include:

• Bone disfigurement
• Arthritis 
• Post impairment syndrome.

What does this mean?

For me this has meant that with the stress of everything regarding the move has meant that my moods and physical ability has been restricted as I have either been trying to help pack up again or felt so awful that I have not been able to do anything.

What's next?

So while I am staying relatively quiet except on Instagram @sweetestmoonuk where you can find me daily.

More of the same craziness - with moving again!

 Things are a bit difficult at the minute. I'm writing this because of how things are. I'm thinking things through slowly. I've struggled with what's going on recently. We've got a date to move. And It's made it harder to think straight about anything.

We are doing the best we can at the moment as a family, but we're not doing brilliantly. I've wanted to write. I haven't bothered because I've not felt like it. Doing it by audio is the only way I think I'm going to be able to do it for a while and just everything through to make my blog post for now. 

Because of the way, the way messes are at the moment, with getting ready for the move. Which is possibly at the end of November.  I'm looking to get things ready but it's not brilliant. I felt so low with my cerebral palsy and frustrated because I couldn't do things. Which has contributed to my moods and lack of energy to think or even things I love.

Other people are not being as helpful as they could be. So yes, it could be better. It's difficult to do anything else because of the way things are. I want to make things easily doable for me at the moment. Things like having to think about how I'm writing everything through. 

Hopefully, when things are confirmed, I'll be able to do more writing for my blog. So as I have said, I'm using Instagram, having fun with that and trying to be positive. I am waiting for what's out of my control because of the changes with cerebral palsy, along with the things that are going on for the move.

Whoops it's been a while!

It's been a while since I wrote and did anything. Lots of things have been happening around me mentally and physically. I haven't been able to focus.

Lots of things are still going on at the moment. I’m going to have to keep this an explanatory blog post and audio. Because of the way things are at the moment.

I don't know how much longer they will be with all this going on, but I am doing little things through Instagram. You can catch me there. Also the occasional tweet. Those are the two programs that I use the most. You can always get me o

there.

It's been a bit difficult at the moment. I am trying to decide what's most important. I do want to do what I've been doing since 2015. A lot of things have sort of thrown a spanner in the works. And my plans haven't been able to be put into place because of what was going on.

2I'm in the middle of doing one thing that needs to be done right after Christmas time.

We just have to wait and see what happens next and then I want to move forward. Half this year has been rather tangential. I think. It will be for the rest of the year. Though I will tweet, Instagram, and Facebook as much as I can. Things have gotten out of my control. I can't do what I want to do right now. So is frustrating.

My health also hasn't been particularly brilliant, so that has needed to come into play and is more important than anything else.

I've been advertising, the things I've been doing very to a game again. Mainly so you can catch me there. As I said but you're gonna see a lot more of me writing next year.

Please excuse the yawn. It's been rather hot recently, I will get back to you soon.

xxx

Right now!

Hey!

I have been reticent recently regarding writing and doing my podcast episodes. This post is all about that.

Another apology!

Things have been erratic with me since having COVID last month. I have also been feeling a bit anxious and worried about things as I still haven't had an answer for something. My mind has been on that lately. Which hasn't been exactly what I wanted. Writing this post has helped me feel a bit better. However, I'm unclear in what direction I want this blog and podcast to go right now so while I'm thinking things through I will write when I can

The options!

The options are as follows!

1. Stay the same.

2. Change direction.

3. Only do 1of the things.

4. Stop completely.

There is one thing I don't think I can do is give it all up as I feel that explaining cerebral palsy and endometriosis and how it affects my life. Can be an insight for others and a solace for those of us who have either condition or even both. Yet I am uncertain what step to choose. 

Option 1:

This one I'm not sure about as there are so many different things such as make-up, skincare, books, music, food, and tech. Also suffering from anxiety and depression are other options. Just to write about the conditions although helpful wouldn't be as interesting for the reader.

Option 2:

This option I'm not sure about as I am not sure what direction I would take the blog and podcast unless I focus on one of the other topics I already mentioned.

 

Option 3:

This option would be just to write about one of the 2 main topics such as cerebral palsy or endometriosis. I think though this might be an idea again it may be a bit boring.

Outcome:

By writing this post I think that I will stick with incorporating everything to show that we are just the same as anyone else.

Your ideas:

However, I really would appreciate your feedback. So please leave your comments below.

A Normal Day in the life of Sweetestmoondust

I'm going to talk about what I do on a day-to-day basis blog and what I wanted to show you.  First of all, I set the alarm for 8 o'clock. The night before, I get up between half past eight and eight o'clock. because of my disability and it depends on what I've been up to. 

So if I am tired, then I ignore the alarm and carry on sleeping and feeling better. However, on an average day, I get up at about eight to eight-thirty and then do my skincare. Then I will get dressed and if I find it difficult, in the morning, for example, I've had a bad night, I'll ask my other half to help me because it's easier than actually doing it and quicker. 

Although I can do a lot of it, not all. Then I'll go downstairs and have breakfast.  breakfast will normally be a Herbalife shake or a breakfast bar or something like that. And sometimes I have cereal. Depending on what's going on is not always the same and then I will get on with a thing. 

Bit me, time is just a bit of silly me time. I'm playing a game or two on the phone, and my other half does a bit of what he wants to do for the morning. Then I will do more of my stuff, like starting to do my radio show. Like talking for the radio show for the day. 

I get my show for a week ahead. So I'm ready for that as well because it doesn't always happen that I can be available. So I tend to do it a week ahead and then I will work on my blog or have a bit of lunch. And then I'll go back and do what I need to do. 

As I said, it'll be so in the afternoon and after lunch. It'll be like having, social media work doing all the stuff like that for my blog and my podcast and radio shows. And also working on my blog and see. what my books are up to because I also write books, so they need to be advertised. 

I try to do a little bit of advertising for that as well, so that's all having to be done. And then it's usually about half-past four. I end up doing things like work clearing up, getting it cleared out, and getting ready for the kids. And when they come back from school because they've already left before I even get up most days because it's just easier that I then my other half has got one thing to cut focus on rather than three. 

So it's easier and then we'll have dinner together. All of us, you know, try and catch up on how the day's been doing what we've got. You know what we've done for school. What we've done each day and then we will be doing. Um, meanwhile half like to catch up together. 

We might have time to watch a movie or we might do a but you know, I'll read a book rather and he'll be watching a movie quietly or will be doing stuff for a couple of streamers that we know on Twitch and support them out a bit as well. They are rog3rbot and martocodo

And so that's what we do sometimes, as well. And that is mainly what I am doing on an average day. And if I'm not doing those sorts of things, it could be that I'm taking care of myself, bits and pieces. 

For example, yesterday it was my nails

and I have cerebral palsy. I can't have my nails painted by myself and I need someone else to do it. The same goes for other bits and pieces that I need to get done. So, I do that for myself, by someone else because I can't do myself care for that section. 

So it doesn't matter. So um and I'm hoping you enjoyed this sort of quick chat about what I'm doing on a day-to-day basis because I want to maybe do more like this and a few sort of reviews about it. So thanks and I will be putting pictures up maybe in the notes for what I'm reviewing. 

If I do a review of something, um, for example, I've got a few shopping hauls that I want to put out. So whether I'll be on my Instagram page or my Twitter page as well or Facebook even and that's the way around things as well that I will be using. 

So I have to do all those as well as advertising doing those hours, I get. So, you're talking more roughly about 10 in the morning, I'll start and finish around half 4 pm as full with a break and, and so I could be doing anything and everything between running the house and doing the social stuff that I like to do and advertising cerebral palsy showing that. We do things without too much of a hassle, but we can have a relatively normal life despite having difficulty of some sort.

What A Week! My week with Covid19

 

It was a wicked week. This has been for me, I'm doing this off my phone as usual because I've been hit down with the dreaded lurgy. Otherwise known as COVID-19. I'm day six and I'm still positive. It's probably the worst thing I could think of ever, you know, the added issues. 

It has given my cerebral palsy and endometriosis problems. However, the problem I'm having is with my legs and the pain from the muscles and everything else, but it doesn't matter so much. I've had to give up my radio for a little while, just to make sure that I'm well enough. 

Because at the moment, I'm not able to do anything really without trying, not to scream in pain because it's so painful, what I wanted to do was that I could perhaps do things a bit more easily and it seems to be the only way that is helpful for me at the minute. 

Um, so I'm able to write and record at the same time. For this while, I'm resting as much as possible, but I've never had anything so bad. As this with COVID, it's ridiculous. You know, I'm lucky that I had the boosters and I had everything else. 

And with the conditions I have, it can be a lot worse and I wouldn't want this on anybody. It's not because my voice is a bit croaky. But I just feel very achy all the time in my legs. I've just begun to get my sense of smell back and taste. 

These are only just a few of the problems. I have an upset stomach because of it as well. I've had lots of other things as well. it's not pleasant but I know that it's gonna be over soon enough and I'll be fine. I mean having too much of anything breathing wise, despite having asthma, you know.

Discussing Things and Yet Chilling

  I'm doing another quick post sitting in the cafe. Just chilling out waiting for a family member again. Nevertheless, it's been a quiet day. Family things are being slightly sorted out, hopefully, things will get better. 

The stuff that's going on will be sorted. It will be written about in another post at some point, but right now, life is going the way it should do and I'm grateful for what has been going on and knowing what's being in the future!

Because it's a long slog for what I need to be done up doing another post at some point about all this but not right now because I don't have the time as I have to make time for other things like my radio show, my blog, and my books. 

So I'm doing everything all at once as well as keeping a family. So it's crazy but that's how it is at the minute. I know that whatever happens in the future, it's going to be okay but it is worrying at the time. But anyway, um, that's that bit sorted out For now. 

And I'm gonna be doing another post in about, but this will be only used for a blogger thing, but not I'm not sure yet. I'll see how this works out. As things are going a bit crazy. And I need to sort out a routine. I'm  slowly getting there, and it has been a bit crazy as I've said, an 

It's okay. Those leads are getting there but we're not at the final hurdle yet we're getting there slowly. I'm hoping that's it. Will be fine. But who knows exactly what's going on yet? Um as it's not sure what is going on So we'll see what is happening next. 

I've been discussing things where things have gone a bit higledy pigledy and nd it's not right a minute. Um, because of the way things are going. Um, however, life is going to get there and we know things are going to be. Okay. So, I'm hopeful and I know that what I need to do now is got to be separated into more things. 

And I have got to separate things and not hold on to things.

Like what Mel Robbins often says, She's such a good podcaster, author, etc, she's helped me mentally. I've just caught up on an Instagram live. I haven't watched all of it. I haven't got time but it's been really good and she's just kind of sorted things out a bit more things, more clarified so that I can say, okay! 

Right, I can let go of that and realise, that someone else that I know needs to let go of certain things as well. And they've got to not forget that their future doesn't have to be completely covered by the past. I am a little bit excited about the future and also a bit scared. It is ok though I'm not alone in this.

A Pivot in the background because of Cerebral Palsy and Endometriosis

 

Well Hello!!!

This is a quick podcast and blog post because of what has been going on around me at the minute. 

I want to do that more than anything, I want to make sure that there is enough content for everybody on both my blog and my podcast. Because it's a lot easier to do things this way.  Anyway, this is what I'm doing from now on and I'm gonna try and do it daily and skip prepping up so that you get it weekly on my phone and because it's not on the How can I put it? laziness as my energy goes as the day goes on and I end up just completely flagging.

I can edit it out and work on it so that I don't have to stress out over everything all the time and then I can add it as a post as and when I need it. I'm going to start with just a quick quiet one because I don't know if it's gonna work properly. 

Today. I'm waiting for a member of the family to finish and then I can get on with what they need to do with them. I'm looking forward to seeing them anyway. To make sure that everything is correct and everything else. 

This seems to be the most sensible way of doing things where I can edit the way things are for me and maybe I won't feel such a lemon sitting in the front room or the office, doing this with my husband around as well, but maybe I will, maybe I won't, I don't know!

Hoping everyone had a great Easter and in fact so that I can do more things here. Anyway, what I would like to do is explain a bit more about what is happening with the change around. I'll be editing things to make it into a proper blog as well, so it makes more sense. 

At the moment I'm just blurbing around and messing around with my system because it makes more sense for me to do it this way, even out and about because of the way things are here with me and purposely doesn't always make it easy for me to have a good day. 

And neither does endometriosis because of the way things flare with that as well. And endometriosis is just as bad as cerebral palsy because of the way they combine as well as being organized with exhaustion. There are days when I feel fine, but then an episode from endometriosis will flare and that will cause an issue, meaning that I won't have the energy to do anything. 

I'm thinking of doing things like this a lot more often and doing it that way. If I was to do more posts like this, it would make it a lot easier, I think. And I look as idiotic as I like a cafe dreaming and daydreaming about things. So here we go. 

And I'm quite enjoying this at the moment but I don't want it to go on too long if this is just going to be a beginning one so that everyone can realize that I am a real person and just like with everything else I don't always have time for everything although there needs to be some consistency. 

With endometriosis and cerebral palsy combining at times. It means that I don't have the energy so this might be a better way. Let's see what happens.

Cerebral Palsy A disease or condition

 Disease or Condition

So there are various ways that cerebral palsy has been boxed as either a disease or a condition. Below are the definitions by dictionary.com of each word or group of words.

Disease

noun

a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavourable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.

any abnormal condition in a plant that interferes with its vital physiological processes, caused by pathogenic microorganisms, parasites, unfavourable environmental, genetic, or nutritional factors, etc.

any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society:

His fascination with executions is a disease.

decomposition of material under special circumstances:

Condition

a particular mode of being of a person or thing; existing state; situation concerning circumstances.

state of health:

He was reported to be in critical condition.

fit or requisite state:

to be out of condition; to be in no condition to run.

 

Cerebral palsy

noun Pathology.

a form of paralysis believed to be caused by a prenatal brain defect or by brain injury during birth, most marked in certain motor areas and characterized by difficulty in control of the voluntary muscles.

My thoughts

As a person with cerebral palsy, I don’t consider it as a disease as it's not like an illness such as a cold or cancer which has two different options of either getting better or not.

I use those examples as the simplest form of the disease because they are the most common. Although there are many more.

But cerebral palsy in my point of view is a condition as the initial brain damage has already happened but its secondary effects continually change as the person gets older. 

It also means that there are differences in every different case of cerebral palsy and there is no way to cure a person with it. Whereas with a disease you can be cured or not. But a condition you live with. 

And things change daily and you either have a good or a bad day. And you have to continue with whatever you are doing. The same goes on with people with fibromyalgia or MS and other lifelong conditions. Whereas someone with some types of cancer has limited time, not decades. Although that is possible.

The Effects of Cerebral Palsy

I talk about those throughout the whole of this blog as I live with the condition and the following is a list of some of the posts

What is spastic cerebral palsy?

Ataxic Cerebral Palsy What is it?

Life with diplegic mixed cerebral palsy

Common Questions for me

And many more just check them out.

Final Thoughts

So you see it's slowly changing as the effects are less evident unless the initial brain damage is severe enough when the cerebral palsy is spotted. Especially if the condition happens as a baby during the early months. Or when it occurs from an accident later.

But also seasons and age affect the way cerebral palsy reacts within the body. This is mentioned in the series of posts that started with The Seasons and how they affect cerebral palsy. 

I hope you see my point of view and understand why I class it as a condition, not a disease.

A Smal Change

 When it was regarding this, I wanted to do a quick podcast and blog at the same time using Recording. So that I could actually be more productive and make sure that I have enough time for everything else throughout the day.

I wanted to talk about how things have really changed for me regarding things because life is a lot harder having any disability such as cerebral palsy which I have.

I also wanted to talk about how things have changed for me recently, as this is a general post for this week and I wanted to make sure that it was clear that I was talking about the changes for me. That's why it changes for me, at least. So I had started with Herbalife a while back. which is in Three Weeks With Herbalife. And I will be putting a stronger, more impactful post about that in the future.

Another one was to do with the way that exercises are to do with me as well. Which I've also mentioned. So my goodness. What a change, things have been. After a year of trying to get anxiety out of my situation and just living through a pandemic and a move, I felt better just living and trying to de-stress throughout that entire time. 

During that time I found that Fitbit was actually able to do exercises on top for disabled people now rather than just able people. So I have been doing a few of those exercises and made them my favourites on the app which you can get from Google Play and Apple iOS. 

And they will be put out on another exercise post that will connect to the original one that was done during the pandemic. Which is here exercise or no exercise. Here in the UK, we are coming out of the pandemic and back to almost normality.